Valley of Shadows
by jacobiterose
Summary: After Edward breaks up with Bella in the woods, she sinks into a catatonic state. Who will bring her out of the shadows and what will she find out about the unthinkable reason that Edward broke up with her. Will Bella be able to heal from such a heartache and find a love of her own?
1. Chapter 1

*I in no way shape or form, own these characters, or any rights to the unbelievable fortune that Stephenie Meyer is surely raking in due to the invention of these characters.

*Thanks to all of the very kind reviews and critical, that I have received. I love them all, for the encouragement, as well as the teaching. I love you all!

**Chapter One**

**Betrayal **

Carlisle Cullen sat in his study, head in hands, trying to wrap his mind, his emotions over the last year. Hell, the last twenty years. A fire crackled behind him as the moody, unexpected crescendos and sudden soft, but vivid emotions of Chopin rang loudly throughout the room, trying to drown out the very sounds, the knowledge of what was going on underneath this very roof. It had finally come to pass and he felt his heart crushing to dust under the actualization, the physical recognition of a house-wide understanding of what was finally coming to fruition.

It had been lying, not so dormant, but pulsating, living just below the surface of his marriage. His mind drifted to the introduction of what he thought, may have been the saving grace to all of this. The day that Edward had brought Bella Swan to meet the family. There seemed to be somewhat of a glimmer of promise there. It was apparent that Edward was infatuated with her, how couldn't he be? She was so awkward in her own world, yet so at ease in theirs.

During this time, he had felt a spark of hope in his own marriage to Esme, that things might have been returning to normal after twenty years of friendship, but the absence of passion. From the time that Bella was brought into their lives, Esme had seemed to throw herself into recreating the passion that they once had. Carlisle had never been so hopeful. It seemed that dawn was just on the horizon and the torment that had been his most secret and constantly painful existence over the last twenty years, was finally coming to an end.

Everyone knew that it had been there, yet didn't speak of it. To Esme and Edward's credit, they fought it with all of their might to keep the family together. For years, Alice had been pained with visions that she would only share with Jasper. Worry and sadness seemed to etch into Alice's sweet, normally carefree, pixy like freshness. That is, until Bella came along. Few were happier to see Edward reaching out to Bella, than Alice. She had regained her youthful vibrancy and zeal for life that was truly her. She had welcomed Bella into their lives with open arms and warmth, seeing a light at the end of a very secret, yet palpable tunnel. A vast tunnel, like a giant purple elephant always in the room.

The family had returned to normal for a time. Carlisle and Esme had seemed to recapture the fresh, dewy, romance of their younger years together. But tonight, all of that was crashing down upon Carlisle, seemingly burning his home and family around him. Had he been able to cry, his face surely would have been soaked with tears. He suddenly jumped up from his luxurious and beautiful, Spanish leather office chair and opened the nearest window, jumping out into the chilly autumn evening and ran for his life. He ran out into the night, possibly fifty miles into the wilderness, turned his face up toward the sky and for the first time in his life, screamed with all of the might, terror, hurt and rage in his body. Dropping to his knees, he sobbed into the whistling wind and icy rain, clueless to the fact that somewhere in the forest, Bella lay, sapped of anymore reason to exist, on the forest floor.

Edward had led her into the woods, only to tell her that she wasn't good for him and that he should have ended this relationship that they shared, long ago. A relationship to which Bella had been ensured was true love. He invaded her heart, her soul, her mind, yet he had dropped her in the blink of an eye. Edward, in one conversation, had punctured her heart, causing a swell of love, never to be returned, to build up in her chest. Her mind went numb except for the only question that burned into her thoughts like a skipping record player. Why? Why? Why?

He didn't love her, after all. After all of the intimate times that they lay in the meadow together, the touches and kisses stolen in secretly shared moments. Her heart, already full of love, not quite ever completely requited. Seemingly always just out of reach, it felt as if her heart was filling even now, without an outlet to pour its contents into as she had helplessly tried to follow him. She didn't care that she lay on the forest floor, or that icy rain fell upon her. She didn't care that her human body was losing feeling, due to the combination of exposure and icy rain. She was just thankful for the soft patch of mud that she had landed in after hours of chasing after Edward. Her throat burned from calling his name. Her mind was in confusion and twisted torment over the utter and complete halt, to what was to be her forever. Why, why, why?

Numbly, she felt herself being lifted and carried. She didn't care by whom or to where. She only cared that her love had dropped what they shared in the wet forest. In the Fir tree and earth scented air.

She took little notice of Charlie, nearly in tears as he carried her up to her room and covered her in blankets, sitting by her bedside as her eyes stared into nothing. Nothing was what she felt and nothing was what she did.

Unable to hold back what had been brewing for some time, Esme had made her way, her eyes darting this way and that, down to Edward's room. She knew that he had made the decision to leave Bella. She knew that she could no longer resist the pull that had been brewing for years and felt drawn to him after the knowledge of what he had just done in the forest. Knocking on his door, he opened it, their eyes meeting, recognition of the fruition of the inevitable in Edward's eyes as he stood aside, allowing her in. They stood in silence for a moment, staring at one another and then it happened, like a frozen branch snapping. They were in one another's arms, heated touching, taking in every sense that they could of each other. Years of secret and forbidden passion, not even spoken of to each other, unleashed itself upon them as their clothes were shed, there passion being unleashed and the rest of the family be damned. They were locked in one another's embrace and the trance had taken over. The inevitable could wait no longer. Edward had let Bella go, knowing that he couldn't hurt her with the truth. He knew that this moment would come and he knew that it affected everyone in his household. He just didn't want it to touch Bella as well, though Bella quickly retreated to the back of his mind as for the first time, he touched his beloved's skin and breathed in her smell as their mouths and scents mingled. There was no going back now. The pull had finally won over and the yearning would be consummated.

Carlisle now sat in silence, in the clearing, unable to bring himself back to his own home. He couldn't bear to hear what was happening even now. Betrayal, by those who had been the two people that he had always held most dear to his heart. He begged for a distraction and to his relief, just then, his pager went off, showing the Swan's number. Choking back another sob, he finally realized who would be suffering the pain that only he understood. Bella.

Picking up his phone, he returned the call, only to hear what wracked his already shredded heart. Charlie's voice was strained with emotion.

"Please, Dr. Cullen, you've got to do something. Help her, please!"

"Charlie, what exactly is going on?" If Carlisle had had a heartbeat, it would have skipped one, because he knew that something was desperately wrong with Bella. The realization kicked in that Edward may have told her the truth, or suddenly broke up with her. He knew Bella's heart for Edward and suddenly he was on his feet in a flash, hands shaking.

"She won't talk, Carlisle. She just stares straight ahead. It's like she's not even there. Sam Ulee found her laying on the ground deep in the forest and she is freezing. Should I take her to the emergency room? I mean I hate to, this is such a small town, she's been through enough of the town gossip, but, oh hell, what do I do, Carlisle?"

Carlisle took a steadying breath, focusing on not allowing his voice to waver. "Just sit easy, Charlie. I'll be right over." Quickly texting Alice to bring his Mercedes out to the road, he couldn't bear to be in the house right now and she was there in record time. Her face was drawn and there were a million questions in her mind, but Carlisle waved her off. "Not right now, Alice. I'm sorry. I just can't."

She answered him, voice quavering. "I've already packed an electric blanket, fluids, an I.V. rack and an I.V. heater, Carlisle. Go to her."

Carlisle stopped for a moment, taken aback by Alice's thoughtfulness on a night such as this and gently rubbed the side of her face with his fingertips, then jumped into his Mercedes and sped off toward the Cullen's house. He was now, focused only on Bella and salvaging whatever mess that Edward had left behind in Bella's life. This would be his saving grace for the moment. A welcome distraction.

Screeching to a halt near the curb in front of their house, he unloaded the equipment from the truck that Alice had packed, at vampire speed, not caring anymore who saw at the moment. Not bothering to announce his arrival, he rushed into the open door with his arms full, nearly careening into the tall, russet form of Jacob Black. They stopped for a moment and stared at each other. Jacob's emotions were clearly visible in his eyes. Fear, gut wrenching hurt, and smoldering anger stared back at Carlisle. He watched as Jacob drew his fist back, never losing eye contact with Carlisle and punched a hole in the wall next to where Carlisle stood in the doorway and then ran out, into the night. Quite suddenly, he heard a wolf cry into the darkness, very near the house.

Coming to his senses, Carlisle rushed up the stairs, only to see an apparition of what once was Bella. She lay on her bed, lips purple, huddled and shaking violently as her mouth formed silent words. Her eyes stared into nowhere. Nodding at Charlie, he took a shuddering breath and raced to save Bella from the icy depths of hypothermia. Plugging in the I.V. warmer, he shoved in a bag of fluids as he spread out the electric blanket over her and plugged it into the wall socket under her end table. Bella's shivering continued as did her mindless, soundless muttering. Looking at his watch, he waited for the fluids to heat up as he stood that I.V. rack next to her bed. His face screwed up in pain as he watched Bella, sinking into insanity.

Finally he grabbed the bag of fluids out of the warmer and hung them, neatly and swiftly inserting a central line into her hand and plugged the warm fluids in, to heat her body from the inside. It was just then that he noticed Charlie, standing off to the side, arms folded in front of his chest, face distraught with worry and eyes as wide as humanly possible. Trying to control his emotions, he managed to compose his voice somewhat, though it still came out strained and quivering. "I'm here now, Charlie. Physically, she is near hypothermia. I can take care of that, but it's what is going on in her mind, that will take time to decipher."

Just then, Bella's eyes grew wide and she clutched her arms around her middle and cried out a loud, hoarse keening scream into the night. Carlisle nearly fell to pieces, his knees buckling. Not caring that Charlie was in the room, he gathered Bella carefully in his arms. Rolling her in the electric blanket and held her to himself, rocking back and forth. He understood her pain, yet his body would not allow him to go into shock. His gut twisted while she continued to scream as he began to rock her back and forth, slowly, wiping the mud encrusted hair back from her face and whispering calming words to her. Words that not only seemed to sooth her just a bit, but allowed him as well, to sooth himself with the rocking motion. It was clear that Bella would need to be sedated, so he gently rose and laid her carefully in her bed, keeping her wrapped in the blanket. Grabbing for his medical back he scrounged through it, finally finding a vial of an intravenous tranquilizer. Measuring it out carefully, he didn't hesitate before injecting it into her central line, as he held her thrashing arm, pinned to her side. Seconds later, she began to relax as her body loosened its desperate grip on herself. He watched as her eyelids fluttered shut, relieved to see the color of her lips changing into a more healthy pink as the heat of the fluids coursed through her body and the heated blanket warmed her without.

Turning to Charlie, he pleaded with his eyes. "I don't know what happened, but she is physically out of the woods now."

"Charlie's eyes held some relief, as he looked as if he were about to hug Dr. Cullen, but suddenly took his hand in his and shook it vigorously. "I can't thank you enough, Carlisle. I was so afraid. . . . so afraid that I was going to lose my baby girl." Charlie was on the verge of breaking down.

Carlisle used his most calming voice. "You need to rest, Charlie." Stopping Charlie as he tried to protest, he continued. "I'll stay with Bella tonight. I won't leave her side."

"This is Edward's doing." Charlie seemed to say to no one. It didn't sound accusing toward Carlisle, merely as if it were a revelation to him.

"Charlie, go get some sleep. I'm here. For now, Bella needs her rest and I'll keep her sedated for tonight. We'll begin working on putting the pieces together in the morning. We will have no answers tonight. I'll call Alice and she will help. For now, get your rest. Bella will be alright, now."

Charlie seemed to nod absently at this and as if in a daze, he walked out of Bella's room. Carlisle heard his door shut and reached for his cell, only to have it beep in his hand. Clicking his phone to accept the text, he smiled a weary smile. "I'm already on my way. Alice." Carlisle looked down at Bella's tiny form, huddled up in a fetal position in her bed and he once again lifted her into his arms and held her. Rocking her gently, he began to feel himself settle down a bit. Emotionally drained, he hummed gently to Bella. Nothing that has been done could be undone now. There was only the picking up of the pieces and moving on. Shifting Bella into one arm, he reached into his pocket once again and dialed Jasper.

"Dad?"

"No time to talk now, son. I'm sorry. I just need for them to be out of the house, tonight. Understood?"

Suddenly Jasper's tone turned into that of the major that he had been, so long ago. "Yes sir. They'll be gone when you return."

"Thank you, Son. I have to go, now. Bella needs me."

"I understand, Dad."

There was a pause and then Carlisle flipped his phone shut, unable to do anything else, but cradle Bella against him and try to hold on to the last vestiges of hope that he could at least save her. Hope that he would be able to fix her. Hope that he would be able to fix himself.

Just then, Alice appeared, walking slower than normal. She slipped her designer handbag onto the floor, next to Carlisle's medical bag and dropped down on the floor next to Bella's bed. Reaching out, she grabbed Bella's free hand. She was only able to look at Carlisle for a second, his own eyes staring out into an invisible abyss. Resting her head on the side of Bella's bed, she sobbed, a tearless cry for the pain and betrayal in and by the one's that she loved most in this world.

And so the night passed with Carlisle and Alice ever vigilant, rushing to soothe Bella as she cried out in her sleep.

Bella awoke the next morning, groggy. She looked around, confused for a few moments, realizing that she was in her bed. Memories of the night before came flooding over her and she began to weep, sucking in ragged breaths in between sobs. Carlisle, who had been sitting in the rocking chair jumped to his feet and stooped down beside her.

"We're hear Bella. You're not alone. We will not leave you."

Her eyes seemed to register his words. Her voice was small and raspy as she answered.

"But Edward said that you were all leaving."

"Edward does not run our household, Bella, and we do not desert family." Bella seemed to cling to these last words, as another round of sobs began wracking her body. She nodded her understanding at Carlisle as she closed in on herself once again. Carlisle pulled a handkerchief out of his coat pocket and began to wipe her face, only to find that it left wet, dirty tracks. He knew what had to be done.

"Bella, I am going to keep you under a light amount of sedation. It will help with the shock and allow you to relax a bit, but I need you to do something for me." He turned to load the syringe with less of the sedative this time, not wanting her to sleep for the moment, only to calm a bit. "I need you to let Alice help you clean up. She'll help you with a nice hot shower." He injected the sedative and watched her reflexes relax a bit. "Do you understand, dear heart?" Carlisle's voice was so calm, so soothing. It hurt to move, but she nodded her understanding, feeling her hair itchy with dried mud. Slowly, Carlisle helped her to a sitting position as he unplugged her central line and removing it from her hand. She seemed unphased by the process, which was most uncharacteristic of her. Usually, she fainted at the slightest sight of blood. Carlisle had treated enough of her wounds to know that. As he carefully ministered to Bella's central line, Alice gathered up a pair of pajama pants, a sweatshirt and underwear for Bella. Seeing Charlie at the door, Alice stepped quickly toward him and wrapped him in a hug. "We'll take good care of her Charlie. Don't worry. You can go on in to work if you like. I was just about to help Bella with a shower."

Charlie studied Bella for a moment. Even though he seemed disturbed by her nearly catatonic state, he felt that she looked a far cry better than the night before. Charlie looked tired, but he nodded his head in agreement, anyway and headed downstairs to make his coffee. Once Charlie was out the door, Alice helped Bella into the bathroom and out of her clothes as she adjusted the shower to a hot, soothing spray. Bella felt so fragile as she lifted her over the lip of the bathtub and helped to steady her under the water. Bella looked for one moment into Alice's eyes, with such an agony and then turned to absentmindedly bathe herself, routinely. Washing the caked mud out of her hair, she scrubbed her scalp hard, wishing that she could wash away the events of last night completely from her, but sadly, reality had hit her like a speeding bus and fate had cruelly allowed her to survive.

**Thank you so much for reading. Please review as it helps me to stay motivated. Go ahead. Let me know what you think so far. **


	2. Fragile

*I in no way shape or form, own these characters, or any rights to the unbelievable fortune that Stephenie Meyer is surely raking in due to the invention of these characters.

*Thanks to all of the very kind reviews and critical, that I have received. I love them all, for the encouragement, as well as the teaching. I love you all!

**Chapter 2**

**Fragile**

Jasper approached Edward's bedroom, without worry about what he was breaking up. He threw open the door, only momently flinching to see Edward's body tangled with Esme's. They both jumped up at his invasion of their private moment. In this moment, he hated them. With a venomous tone, he hissed out words like an order, dared to be disobeyed. "The family has voted and you two will be gone from here within the hour. Take what you can and don't come back." He dared them to object, dispassionately as he made eye contact with them. Neither one dared object as they looked back at Jasper with shame filled eyes. Jasper continued. "I'm gonna close this door now. Esme, make yourself decent", he gave a bitter chuckle, "as possible and get out. Both of you."

He shut the door and walked away, sickened with the emotions of lust, guilt and selfishness that had just barraged him. He heard a scurrying in Edward's room as he made his way down to their recreation room. Emmet made eye contact with him and Rosalie only spared him a supportive glance as they collectively turned their back on the two people, who were once part of this family unit.

Emmet arose, despondently and looked through their DVD collection, choosing Black Hawk Down and put it into the Xbox. Choosing play, they all settled back and awaited the departure of Esme and Edward.

Rosalie didn't care much for this movie, but to see her father hurt so, made her want to rip her now estranged mother and brother, limb from limb. She allowed the violence of the movie to be her catharsis. She was more than ready to inflict marshal law, should they go over their hour to vacate the house. Jasper looked up at her, feeling her rage and nodded his agreement and understanding. Finally, he heard the front door open and close, then the sound of the Volvo engine turning over. He did not relax until he heard the tires retreating on the gravel as it departed, carrying out the trash.

Alice helped Bella's frail and listless form from the shower and helped her to towel out her hair as Bella stared into space. Carefully, she dressed Bella as Bella simply went through the motions, then brushing Bella's hair Alice cooed soothing words to her, trying to bring Bella to trust in her and feel a semblance of love in the midst of her own personal hell.

As soon as Bella's needs were seen to, Carlisle tried to coax her into eating, but Bella would simply not respond. This behavior continued throughout the day as Bella refused to leave her bed, only to have her human moments. She slept on and off, always waking in a nightmare with shrill screams and awaking with utter terror and twisting pain written in her features. Truly, Carlisle felt that this was hurting him on a more personal level, than even the unfaithfulness of his wife and betrayal of his first son. Surely they had betrayed him in the worse imaginable way, but they had left this mortal, beloved creature to deal with the pain in her mortal body and mind. He had seen what a broken heart and decimated spirit could do to a mortal and the effects could be lethal.

As the day progressed, it became apparent that Bella would take no nourishment or fluids and Carlisle became more and more concerned. By the time that Charlie got home, he knew without a doubt what had to be done. It took only a look to Alice as Alice nodded her understanding and left the house in a blur, returning home, to prepare for what she had already seen, would need to happen.

Charlie was obviously fatigued as he climbed the stairs, hoping beyond hope to see Bella more improved after the day had gone by, but to his horror, she still lay, staring into nothingness, wrapped up into a ball. Charlie looked questioningly at Carlisle. The look upon Carlisle's face gave him no reassurance.

"What is going to happen to her?" Charlie kneeled down beside Bella, stroking her face, swallowing a large lump in his throat.

"I can't really say at this point, Charlie, however I would like to ask that you would allow me to take her to our home for a while."

Charlie suddenly looked panicked. "What? Why? What can you do for her there that you can't do for her here?"

"Charlie." Carlisle's voice was full of compassion. "She can't be left alone and you must work. She needs round the clock care right now. When she finally comes out of this catatonic state, she will need to be watched, very closely. I wish that I had better news for you, but I really think that Bella has a long road ahead of her."

"What about Edward? What about your own job?" Charlie nearly spat Edward's name.

"Edward has been asked to leave our household and is no longer welcome." Carlisle's voice was even and emotionless.

Charlie studied him in surprise. "You would do that on account of Bella?"

"We consider Bella as much a part of our family as Edward ever was. I mean, please don't get me wrong, Charlie. I know with all of my heart that she is your daughter, but we love her as any family could love another member. As for my job, I have requested and been granted a leave of absence. I feel partially responsible for her current state and I will not rest until I see her functioning again, no matter how long it takes. As you know, we have plenty of money and my lack of work will not affect us. I only ask you this, because Bella is refusing to eat or drink and will soon need intravenous nutrients as well as fluids."

Charlie winced at this. His was a bit awed at the care that the Cullen's showed toward Bella and felt helpless. He knew, however, that he would never be able to care for her as they would.

"If I allow her to go, may I visit her as often as I like?" Charlie was finding it difficult to fight of the panic that he felt rising in his chest. Damn Edward and all that he had put Bella through.

"Charlie, you can stay as well if it would make you feel better." Carlisle reassured him.

Charlie stood, hands shaking. "No, no thank you, Carlisle. That won't be necessary, but I am so grateful for the invitation." Charlie swallowed once again, his hands fidgeting at his side. "Of course Bella is better off at your home, where you can care for her. I can never express my gratitude for the sacrifices that you have made on her account." Charlie sighed. "You may take her to your home, Carlisle and thank you for it. I'll be by later on to check on her, before I retire. May I help in any way possible?"

"Well", Carlisle paused thoughtfully. "Just stay with her while I pack up my equipment and perhaps you can carry her down to the car for me." Carlisle could very well have done this much more easily than Charlie, but he could see Charlie struggling with his helplessness.

"Of… of course." Charlie rose to sit next to Bella on her bed. He nodded at Carlisle as Carlisle began to pack up his medical equipment. With one last glance at Bella and Charlie, Carlisle rose and began to pack up the equipment and left Charlie for a moment alone with his daughter.

At the Cullen's, Alice, Jasper, Emmet and Rosalie rushed around making the necessary changes before Bella's arrival. Jasper gathered the remains of Edward and Emse's possessions and heaped them into a pile in the back yard, dousing them with gasoline and lit them on fire. He waited until the only thing that remained of their memory was ash, with a genuine grief in his heart. Finally, turning toward the house, he closed Edward's bedroom door and went to see what Alice and Rosalie and Emmet were up to, since the girls had arrived back from Port Angeles, carrying two pick-up trucks full of newly purchased items. He sat in shock as he approached the guest bedroom, adjoining Carlisle's study, just as Alice was putting the finishing touches of lilac paint on the walls. Emmet and Rosalie were busy setting up the new furniture. Jasper looked down in awe to see what that had accomplished in the time that it took to burn the remnants of Edward and Esme's posessions.

The floor had been stripped and re-varnished a deep cherry, by Emmet while the girls were shopping. Currently, Rosalie and Emmet were putting together a large, cherry wood, four poster bed. A matching armoir and vanity were already in place. Alice smiled at Jasper, though strained, as she deftly jumped off of the ladder, running to his arms. He wrapped them around her, giving her the comfort that she sought and basking in the comfort that he felt from his mate. Just then, the buzzer when off on the dryer and Rosalie hurried downstairs as Emmet was laying the mattress in place on the large bed.

"Oh, I hope that she likes it." Alice looked, her brow furrowed as she stared at the mattress. "I wanted her to be as comfortable hear as humanly possible, so I got what the salesmen assured me was the most comfortable mattress available. It's a Tempurpedic Cloud. It is supposed to respond to a human's body heat and sculpt itself to their body.

"Jasper held her back against his chest and placed a kiss in her hair. "I'm sure that it will be just fine, sweet Alice."

Rosalie ascended the stairs with her arms full of linens for the bed. Thick flannel sheets and a micro fiber purple duvet, with a silver vine embroidered print, complete with fluffy pillows and shams eventually ordained the bed.

They all stood back to appraise their work. Silently, they hoped that Bella would find comfort here. Jasper felt the wave of hope mixed with pain coming off of each of them.

"We can't do anything about what is past, but we can try and coax our sister back. You have all done the most loving thing that a family can do for our little sister."

Alice smiled up at him, for the first time, without the heaviness that had accompanied her in the last twenty four hours. He felt relief as the pain eased a bit and more of a sense of hope permeated the atmosphere. He did his best to send out a wave of accomplishment and calm.

Carlisle watched with tenderness as Charlie gathered Bella in his arms, with little strain, as she weighed barely ninety eight pounds and situated her head under his chin. He took a deep breath and descended the stairs. Reaching Carlisle's car, he thanked Carlisle for opening the passenger door for him and sat a listless, Bella into the passenger side. As he reached in to buckle her seatbelt across her, he placed a long kiss into the top of her head and blinked quickly, several times. Sighing, Charlie closed the door and watched as Bella dimly looked around her, seemingly not caring what was happening or where she was going. At least she seemed to register her change in scenery. That alone gave Charlie a moment of some small relief.

Shaking Carlisle's hand once again, Carlisle climbed in and started the engine. Waiving once more at Charlie, Carlisle pulled away from the curb and headed toward home.

"Carlisle?" He was surprised to hear Bella's small, exhausted voice from the passenger seat.

"Yes, dear heart?"

"Where are we going?"

"You're coming to stay with us for a while."

Suddenly Bella looked alarmed and began sobbing. Carlisle was instantly concerned. "Do you not want to come to our house, Bella?"

"Edward. I don't want to see him." She whimpered.

"Edward is gone, sweet heart. You're going to be among the family that loves you and would never desert you. Our home is your home too, as you will soon see." Carlisle managed a small smile at Bella as she settled back into the soft leather seat of the Mercedes. Her relaxation was enough of an answer for him.

The drive was silent and eventually Bella felt the gravel of the Cullen's driveway. She stared, emotionally drained at the house that was so familiar to her, that held so many memories. She was just too tired to feel any pain at the sight.

Carlisle rushed around and unbuckled her seat belt. "Just wait, sweet Bella and see what your family has prepared for you. We all love you. You must remember that. You are surrounded by love here.

Bella stared up into his face for a moment and managed to wrap her arms around his neck as he lifted her out of the car. She felt herself relax, taking comfort in his honey amber colored eyes and the kindness and concern that she saw in them for her. There was also something else in his eyes that managed to register in her thick, cobweb filled head. Was it pain?

Entering the house, the family each gently greeted Bella as Carlisle headed straight toward the stairs. Approaching Edward's bedroom, Bella buried her face in Carlisle's neck. "No, please, not there."

Sshh, dear heart. We would not do that to you. You are going into a room just for you." Carlisle whispered into her hair. She blinked up at him, not quite understanding, but as he climbed the next flight of the wooden staircase, he approached a door that she had never been through before. Opening it, Carlisle smiled to himself over what his children had done for Bella. He heard a small gasp from Bella. She very slowly turned her head toward her waiting brothers and sisters. "You did this for me?" She managed to weekly ask.

Emmet stepped forward. "Of course we did, baby sis. Alice and Rose picked out the furniture and the bedding. Alice painted and Rose, Jasper and I saw to everything else."

Bella couldn't manage a thank you as a new surge of tears blocked her throat, but she nodded her thanks, weakly at them as Carlisle carried her to the large four poster bed. Rosalie was there in an instant, pulling back the fluffy purple duvet and thick, soft flannel sheets. As Bella felt Carlisle gently lower her onto the mattress, the comfort of the soft mattress that seemed to mold itself to her body and the warmth of the flannel sheets settled around her, she barely registered the fluffy flannel laden pillow that her head laid upon, before she drifted into a deep sleep.

Quietly exiting the room, the family made their way toward the dining room for a family meeting. Jasper was the first to speak up after they had gathered around the dinner table.

"What did he do to her?" Jasper's eyes were black with rage.

Carlisle winced at the anger that rolled off of Jasper and mingled with his own and the memory of what he knew that Edward had done.

"I'll make this short and sweet and then I will talk of it no more." Carlisle pointedly looked at each one of them. "Edward led her into the forest at dusk, only to tell her that he didn't love her and that she wasn't good for him. He left her there and ran back here. Naturally, Bella chased after him for hours and finally succumbed to her breaking heart and broken soul and fell in the forest as it was as dark as pitch to her eyes. She lay in the cold and freezing rain until Sam Ulee thankfully found her and carried her back to Charlie's. By the time I got there, she was hypothermic. Alice and I were able to get her out of danger, physically for the moment, but her mental state is shattered. She won't eat or drink. She will need intravenous nourishment as well as fluids, until we can coax her to eat." Jasper's fist came crashing down on the table, causing the corner to splinter. He gazed at everyone unapologetically.

"What now?" Rosalie asked.

"We try and bring her out of her depression." Carlisle answered. "Alice, if you're able to see any way that we can manage that, I would appreciate any input that you may have. In the meantime, I'm going to try once more to get her to eat and drink. Barring that, I'll have to begin to administer the I.V.'s. She needs us all right now, to gather around her and make her more a part of this family than ever. It won't be long until she realizes that Esme is gone as well." The sadness and sheer hatred that rolled off of Carlisle at that statement, nearly brought Jasper to his knees. Understanding their rolls, the family dispersed to the kitchen to try and prepare several things to tempt Bella into eating.

A half an hour later, Bella stirred out of her sleep to see Alice coming in with a tray laden with food. Behind her was Carlisle with a tray of different beverages. Bella looked at the stack of blueberry pancakes, grilled cheese sandwiches and some kind of pasta, but apologetically turned her head away as her stomach lurched. Alice very patiently squeezed her hand understandingly and left with the food.

"Bella?" Carlisle's voice was patient and kind. "You've got to at least drink something. Here, I have ginger ale, orange juice, apple juice and even Coca Cola, but most importantly, water." Bella couldn't resist the sad pleading look that Carlisle gave her and with a shaky hand, she reached for the ginger ale. She took a sip off of the straw, but immediately felt her stomach rebelling. Suddenly with big eyes, she looked around in panic for a place to spit it. Carlisle was there in a flash with a small garbage can. Bella spit the mouthful of ginger ale into it and looked embarrassed up into Carlisle's face.

"I'm sorry." She managed, feeling her blush.

"There is no need to be sorry, Bella. This is not your fault, although, I am going to have to hook up an I.V. once again and administer fluids and nutrients into your body. You cannot go without." Noticing the panicked look on her face at the thought of the I.V., Carlisle sighed. "Don't worry, I'll sedate you, before I re-administer the I.V. You won't know that I'm doing it." He patted her hand as she lay back into her pillows. "Rest now, Bella. I'll be back in a bit with the necessary implements." He rose to leave, but Bella's hand suddenly shot out, surprising him. She was holding on to him with all of her human strength.

She looked up into his face, her eyes wild with near panic. "Please don't leave." She whimpered. Carlisle took a deep breath and raked his fingers through his golden hair.

"Okay, Bella." He smiled gently at her. Alice was at the door in a moment, rolling in the I.V. pole and bags of nutrients and fluids. Carlisle smiled up at his daughter. Returning his smile, she handed him his bag.

"Stay with her, Carlisle. She really needs this. Stay with her while she rests. I believe that your presence will keep the nightmares at bay."

" I was with her last night and yet she still had nightmares, Carlisle argued."

"No, Carlisle, I mean in the bed. Hold her. She needs the comfort." Alice looked matter of factly at him. He wiped a hand over his face and looked down into the dazed form of Bella.

"Fine, but let's get her sedated and hydrated. Bella, you're going to feel a small prick and then you will sleep. I will not leave you. I'll be right here with you as long as you wish for me to be." Bella seemed to relax a bit at this. "Alice will help you take your human moments." Bella blushed a bit at this. "Now is the time to speak up if you need one before I sedate you."

Blushing even deeper, Bella nodded just slightly. Once again, Carlisle helped her into a sitting position as Alice gently supported Bella's small frame as they carefully made their way into the adjoining bathroom.

Carlisle looked on as Alice shut the door. He felt so bitterly sorry for Bella, that he hardly thought of his own pain anymore. Deep inside of him, a drive began to see this lovely little human that had become so much a part of their family to find her own strength. Not only did he want to see her gain her strength, but to rise above what she conservatively though of herself. He wanted her to see herself the way that he did. They way that the family did.

**Thank you so much for reading. Please review as it helps me to stay motivated. Go ahead. Let me know what you think so far. **


	3. Rage

*I in no way shape or form, own these characters, or any rights to the unbelievable fortune that Stephenie Meyer is surely raking in due to the invention of these characters.

*Thanks to all of the very kind reviews and critical, that I have received. I love them all, for the encouragement, as well as the teaching. I love you all!

**Chapter 3**

**Rage**

Bella was settled back into the bed after her human moment. Carlisle looked down at her, taking in the fact that her veins were very blue under her skin, taught with dehydration. He clenched his jaw, forcing back the anger that rose within him. Bella's eyes looked up at him, almost with a desperation and complete trust.

He smiled his warmest smile, which seemed to calm her a bit. "Now Bella, I am going to have to administer the sedative with a shot, so if you don't like the sight of needles, I would advise you to close your eyes." She didn't even hesitate as she laid back into her pillow, squeezing her eyes shut.

"Alice, roll her onto her side." Carlisle asked. "Bella, I'm going to have to give this shot to you in your upper gluteal muscle." Bella blushed a deep fuchsia, which didn't escape Carlisle's notice, in fact, she looked adorable right now with her eyes squinted shut and blushing furiously. He at once again vowed to pull this remarkable woman out of her shyness. "Don't worry", he soothed. "all that I'll see is the top of your hip, mostly." Bella nodded her head as she felt the cold of the alcohol swab on the upper section of her right upper gluteal muscle and then the prick. Suddenly a warmth spread throughout her body as she felt her limbs becoming heavier. She sighed as some of the ache in her heart seemed to subside as well. She did however manage to stay awake.

"Bella, you need to relax and sleep so that I can get this I.V. into you." Carlisle gently scolded.

"Just get it over with." She whispered through gritted teeth. He looked down upon her for a moment and then shrugged, grabbing the sterile bag with the central line in it. As he punctured the taught skin on the top of her hand, she winced a bit, but didn't flinch.

"That was quite impressive, Miss Swan." Carlisle smiled down at her. The rest was a piece of cake. He hung a bag of fluids and a bag on nutrient rich fluids and set the I.V.

"Carlisle?"

"Yes, dear heart?"

"You promised that you wouldn't leave me alone."

Carlisle's heart gave a bit of a lurch at the sleepiness in her voice.

She continued, the most that he'd heard her speak in the last twenty four hours. "Please lay here with me while I sleep?" Her voice was groggy with the sedation.

"I could never refuse you such a thing, Bella." He felt a bit awkward as he settled in next to her, as he had never lied in a bed with anyone but Esme, but was even more surprised when Bella settled into his arm and snuggled against him and immediately fell into a deep sleep. He was startled by Bella's actions, but didn't find it at all disagreeable. He had always felt a great deal of affection toward her. He smiled to himself after thinking about the shot and the administering of the central line. "Perhaps there is a fighter in you, yet, Bella Swan." He whispered, too soft to for her to hear. Then, he gently brushed her long, deep chestnut hair out of her face. After about an hour, Alice quietly entered the room. Making eye contact with Carlisle, she smiled her approval. Giving him an approving thumbs up, she quietly left the room.

Bella slept for six solid hours, without so much as a nightmare, to Carlisle's surprise. Waking she smiled for the first time seeing him still with her, but quickly resorted into her nearly catatonic state. This went on for the rest of the day.

Charlie stopped by to see her after work and was amazed at the room that they had put together for Bella. It was so decorated to Bella's taste. He was truly grateful for the Cullen's love for Bella. He was, however, disheartened to see Bella in nearly the same state, with two I.V.'s running into her blood stream, with her unwillingness to eat or drink.

Carlisle led him to the front door. "I'm sorry, Charlie. I wish there was more of a change, but we're doing all that we can for her."

Charlie nodded his understanding, shook Carlisle's hand and silently exited the Cullen household. Carlisle was wracking his brain about how to bring her back around. As if an apparition appeared, Alice was beside him in a moment.

"Anger." The only word that she spoke.

"Excuse me?" Carlisle couldn't help but laugh a bit at this impromptu word, blurted out of Alice's tiny figure.

"You'll have to trust me on this one, Carlisle. It will get worse before it gets better, but the key to bringing her out of herself." Alice's face was as honest and clear as if it should be obvious.

"Exactly what are you talking about, Alice?" Carlisle was dizzy with this conversation.

"She needs to know the truth. She is going to figure out soon that Esme is not here and when she does, she needs to hear the truth." Alice's tone was very frank.

Carlisle shook his head. "I just don't think that that is a good idea, Alice."

"I've already seen it, Carlisle." Alice was insistent. Jasper walked up behind her and rubbed her arms.

"It's always best never to bet against Alice, Carlisle."

"Well what exactly did you see?" Carlisle was growing curious.

"I see her getting even more depressed, but somewhere, somehow, a straw breaks inside of her and she becomes angry and I see her energy returning. The depression will be horrible, but won't last forever and you'll be there to comfort her, Carlisle. It has to be you."

"Why me? I mean it's not exactly as if I mind it so much." Alice had a funny smile on her face as he said this. "What are you smiling at?" Carlisle felt like he would be blushing right now if he were human.

"Oh, nothing." Alice retorted. "Now get up there and comfort her. She'll be asking about Esme soon."

Carlisle took one more calculating look at his daughter and blew out and unnecessary breath. "Fine." Was all that he said as he ascended the stairs to Bella's room. As he approached he heard her tossing and turning and suddenly, she screamed out his name. He was there in a flash.

"It's okay, dear one. I'm here." He smoothed the sweat from her forehead and scooted into the bed next to her. Immediately, he heard her heartbeat reduce in speed. He felt a bit of something like pride that his presence did this for her and gathered her up in his arms. She settled peacefully once again into a dreamless slumber. Carlisle held her like this all night and she began to awaken just as the sun was breaking the horizon.

"Feel like some breakfast, Bella?" Carlisle smoothed the hair out of her face.

She shuddered and shook her head, no.

"You need to find the will, Bella. You need to find it somewhere inside of you to live. Live, Bella. Eat."

"I just feel so nauseous." Bella responded.

"Well, how about I give you something for the nausea and then you try for me?" Carlisle's tone was pleading.

"As long as you don't have to stick me again, I'll try it." Bella showed signs of a wry sense of humor surfacing. This was promising as Carlisle rose to open the adjoining door to his study and find some Phenergan. Injecting into her I.V., she winced. "Ooh, that burns."

"I know dear one, but it will act quickly. Let's try and start with something to drink, shall we?"

"I'll try some ginger ale again." Bella weakly replied.

At that moment, Alice appeared smiling in the doorway with a cold glass of ginger ale and a straw. Carlisle and Alice waited apprehensively as Bella took a sip and swallowed. She waited a moment and gave a week smile. "Feels good on my throat."

Carlisle and Alice gave each other a hopeful look. "You just sit tight, Bella and we'll try something to eat as soon as I can whip it up." Alice waltzed out of the room bringing a smile to Carlisle's face. Bella settled back into Carlisle's chest and continued to sip on the Ginger Ale.

"Well at this rate, we'll be able to remove that central line, Bella." Carlisle felt relief wash over him as she gave him a faint smile.

"Carlisle?"

"Yes, sweet Bella?"

"Thank you for being here, I mean, with me and not leaving me alone. Thank you for bringing me here."

"I told you that we would never leave you and I won't leave your side until you are ready for me to."

"Get comfortable then, because I have come to grow accustomed to you." She and Carlisle locked gazes for a moment and then Bella blushed and looked away. She slowly sipped her ginger ale until Alice once again arrived with a tray of blue berry pancakes. This time Jasper, Emmet and Rosalie were in tow.

"Heard you were making progress little sis!" Emmet gleefully smiled at Bella, causing a slight giggle to escape her lips at his enthusiasm. Situating herself more comfortably, she allowed the tray of pancakes to be placed in her lap. They actually didn't smell so bad. Carving off a small piece, she tentatively placed a bite into her mouth and to her astonishment, they tasted good. She swallowed and waited, only to find that her stomach grumbled for more. As she was carving another bite, she suddenly realized that someone was missing. Looking up at everyone in the room, she asked innocently, "Where is Esme?"

Everyone exchanged a suddenly horrified and nervous glance. Alice sat down gently on the bed next to her and put a soft hand on her shoulder. Carlisle pleaded with Alice with his eyes, but Alice ignored him, purposefully. "Esme is with Edward, Bella." Bella swallowed her bite a bit hard and had to wash it down with some ginger ale as a pained expression filled her face.

"You mean, that she left to be with him so that he wouldn't be alone?" Bella felt alarmed that this incident with Edward had caused a separation in the family, no matter how temporary. Alice suddenly squeezed her shoulder, regaining her attention.

"No Bella. I mean that Esme left 'with' Edward." Bella stopped, her fork falling to her plate for a moment trying to wrap her mind around the insinuation behind what Alice was trying to tell her. Suddenly, it hit her. The speeding bus all over again, once again leaving her alive to feel the pain. She began to feel the pancakes coming up and Carlisle was there in a moment with a garbage can, holding Bella's hair back as she wretched. He shot Alice an acerbic look over Bella's head.

"Just watch." Alice mouthed over her head.

Suddenly Bella finished retching and sat straight up in bed. Whipping the duvet off of her, she was on her feet in a fury of motion. Carlisle sat back shocked as Bella suddenly unplugged the central line on her hand with such a furious look on her face that even Jasper, Emmet, and Rosalie jumped. She was out of the bed in a flash of motion and descending the steps, before even the vampires could stop her. Carlisle raced to catch her, but Alice stopped him in one quick motion.

Bella raced toward Edward's bedroom door. She opened and looked around for a moment, seeing that all his room was empty, but the smell of sex remained. Her eyes blazed as she stormed into the dining room, leaving the family to stare after her in bewilderment. Grabbing up a dining room chair, she marched into Edward's bedroom and with a war cry that sent chills up even Jasper's spine, she began to swing the chair at his windows, breaking them into pieces. She broke every one of them, then suddenly collapsed into sobs. Carlisle was at her side in a moment. He was quick to pick her up before she could be cut by the glass. Looking down into her pain twisted face, his heart suddenly broke for the torment that he knew she felt, for he felt it as well. Holding her to him he kissed the top of her head and carried her upstairs.

Bella continued to sob, her face red with rage and hurt. "I'm so sorry, dear heart." Carlisle said as he laid her down on the bed. He tried to pull away to sedate her once more, but she fisted her hands into his shirt. He felt himself being pulled down onto the bed next to her. Unable to stop himself, he pulled her into his arms and let her heart break. Suddenly it was if a dam had broken into his own heart and he felt sobs rising up into his own throat. He wept, tearlessly as he held her close. The warmth of her body was a comfort to his own marble cold skin.

Sniffling, Bella looked up only inches from his face. "Carlisle, why are you sorry? This has hurt you at least as much as it has hurt me. How can you endure this?" Bella shook with an overload of adrenaline and emotion.

"Bella, it was the drive to salvage what I could out of the situation that has kept me sane." Bella looked at him quizzically. "It was you, Bella. I couldn't let you go. I couldn't let you have to go through this pain physically as well as mentally, alone."

Finally, Carlisle kissed Bella's hair and held her hands in his. "You have to let me go for a moment. You need to be sedated, you're positively shivering with adrenaline and this has been quite a shock, although, I've got to hand it to you. Anger is a very appropriate emotion and you certainly acted on it." He stared at her as he filled the syringe. She closed her eyes and felt the cold of the alcohol swab. In her flight of anger she had spent more energy than she had any right to and immediately, the room began to blur as she sank into darkness.

Carlisle shuddered as he watched her slip off into a dreamless sleep. He had never wished at this moment to be more human as his own pain still crashed in around him. Suddenly, he felt gentle arms around his shoulders. He turned to see who it was. "Alice."

"Emmet is highly impressed with how Bella can wreck a house." She quietly whispered to him. He couldn't help but laugh through his pain. "Go to her, Dad. I've a feeling that you need her as much as she needs you right now." Carlisle stared at Alice for a moment and then at Bella.

"Well, I did promise her that I wouldn't leave her." Alice patted him gently on the shoulder and urged him on. With an unneeded sigh, he rounded the bed and stretched out next to Bella's warm form and pulled her into his arms. He stayed there all night, sobbing out his own pain.

When Bella woke the next morning, it was as if she had taken two steps forward and one step back. She was largely unresponsive, but would take fluids. In between sips of fluids, she would lay listless, staring into space, tears always slipping down her face. Carlisle tried so hard to get her to interact with him, but she just couldn't. The pain was too much for her to bear and obviously her nervous system was on overload.

As in answer to the general mood that was surrounding the house, a thunderstorm was brewing off shore and heading toward forks. It had been days since Carlisle had hunted and his eyes were growing dark, yet he didn't want to leave Bella, afraid that she would wake and feel that he had broken his promise. It was finally worked out that Emmet, Alice, Jasper and Rosalie would go and then would watch over Bella while Carlisle could go for a quick hunt.

"You can't remain passive and clear headed, Dad, especially with all that's going on." Rosalie had argued. She was right and Carlisle knew it. And so the four siblings headed out for their usual routine hunt. Rose and Alice headed off in one direction and the boys in another. The girls quickly came upon a herd of deer and sated their thirsts. As they headed back toward Forks they suddenly picked up a familiar scent. Rosalie felt a deep growl erupting from her chest. She would know that smell anywhere. Standing up and yelling across the clearing where they had played baseball, she yelled, "Esme, show yourself!"

Sheets of icy rain began to fall as they saw the familiar sight of who they used to call their mother step out from behind a tree. She wore a look of one who had been beaten at her own game, walking with remarkably less grace than any vampire should have.

"What do you think that you're doing here?" Alice was at Rosalie's side in a second.

Esme stepped forward, opening her arms to them, a forced smile on her lips that never quite reached her eyes.

Growls began rumbling from both girls chests and Esme suddenly looked shocked and dropped her arms. "Why would you treat me in such a way? Alice? Rose? I'm your mother." Esme looked desperate as rain and wind whipped her dark hair around her face.

"You were our mother, but you chose to seal your own fate. Do you have any idea the wake of destruction that you have left behind!? Rosalie's voice was a fierce combination of an echoing goddess and a growl. Alice hissed beside her. Just then, Emmet and Jasper found them and were by their sides in a second. Jasper crouched low in front of his siblings. "Where is Edward?" It was obvious that his scent was nowhere but on Esme. Esme fell to her knees and began to weep. "We no sooner made it to the Denali's then Tanya got her hooks into him. I . . ." she sobbed, "I caught them together."

It was Jasper who stood over her hunched form as she wept. "And what more would you expect from someone who would leave behind his own, so called, beloved to run away with his Father's wife? You deserve what you've gotten, Esme."

Esme sobbed even harder. Alice stepped forward and pulled Jasper back a bit, for fear that he would attack Esme. "What is it that you want with us? You are no longer welcome in our home." Alice couldn't help but shake with fury. She suddenly lost focus and saw a vision of Esme and Carlisle gesturing wildly at each other in the rain. "You want to talk to Dad." Alice's look was scornful. "Come to try and grovel your way back in?"

Esme looked up from where she sat. "I just wanted to tell him how sorry that I am. I never meant for this to happen." She sobbed harder as the rain became torrential.

"Fuck off, Esme! Well, I guess you've already done that, haven't you?" Rosalie sneered with this remark.

Alice put an arm across Rosalie's chest. "No, Rose. They're meant to talk. I've seen it." Four pairs of eyes shot toward Alice, one hopeful. "You just meet Dad at Table Rock and stay clear of him until he's hunted, otherwise you're likely to end up ash. You'll have your talk." Jasper was taken aback at Alice's suddenly feral tone. He wrapped his arms around her and felt her quivering with rage, but her visions were what they were. Emmet stepped forward.

"I hope to God that he doesn't take you back. It's not only our lives that you've destroyed." He turned his back on her and began running back to the house. With a withering look, the rest followed, leaving Esme on her knees in the rain.

Arriving home, Alice went to warn Carlisle. Toweling off in the bathroom, before traipsing through the house, just getting the floor wet, she slowly climbed the stairs, the weight of what news that she brought Carlisle weighing heavy on her. Jasper sent her a wave of calm and she smiled her thanks as she ascended the second flight of stairs. She arrived to overhear Carlisle reading to Bella, his arm around her as they lay in the bed, side by side. It was Wuthering Heights, Bella's favorite book. Alice smiled to herself at the picture that they made, these two broken people, sharing a moment of peace. She hated to interrupt.

"Carlisle, I need to have a word with you if you don't mind. Before she knew it, Rosalie was right behind her. "I'll pick up where Dad left off, if you don't mind Bella?"

Bella looked a bit shaken at first, but understood that Carlisle had to hunt as well. Rosalie gently climbed into the bed, kicking off her stilettos and cuddling up with Bella, to Alice and Carlisle's shock, and started where Carlisle had left off.

"Carlisle, it's Esme." Alice saw the force of her words hit him like a punch to the gut."

**Thank you so much for reading. Please review as it helps me to stay motivated. Go ahead. Let me know what you think so far. **


	4. Fresh Air and Sonnets

*I in no way shape or form, own these characters, or any rights to the unbelievable fortune that Stephenie Meyer is surely raking in due to the invention of these characters.

*Thanks to all of the very kind reviews and critical, that I have received. I love them all, for the encouragement, as well as the teaching. I love you all!

**Chapter 4**

**Fresh Air and Sonnets**

Carlisle raced toward Table Rock, feeling as if he had swallowed a load of coal. The thought of just seeing Esme twisted his gut, to the point of physical pain. As the rain turned to sleet and swept past his marble skin, he finally came within view of the flat, rocky outcrop, known to the locals as Table Rock. With his keen eyesight, he could see a lone figure standing near the edge, waiting for him. He slowed to a walk, thoughts swirling around in his head. He wondered what he would say, what she would say. As he approached, his soul ached, seeing her face again, once his dearest friend and lover.

"Thank you for coming, Carlisle." Esme put on her most dazzling smile. Carlisle instantly felt the hair stand up on the back of his neck. He soon found that he had nothing to say, which let the ball stay in Esme's court. She looked a bit flustered by his reaction to seeing her again, but she continued, with a voice as sweet as honey. "Carlisle, my darling, I have been so wrong. You know as well as I do that my heart was not in what I did." Still Carlisle said nothing, just fixed Esme with an even stare. She decided to change her tactic. "Please Carlisle, please forgive me." Her face had contorted into a portrait of exquisitely painted grief. She stepped forward to touch his face, but he stepped just outside of her reach. What was he doing standing here when he had promised Bella that he wouldn't leave her side. Suddenly, he knew his response to her question as the sleet made scouring sounds on the granite slab that they stood upon.

"Oh, I can forgive you for me, Esme." Her face suddenly looked overjoyed as she reached out to try and touch him once again, but he caught her hand before it could touch his face. He continued. "After seventy years of marriage, sure, people work through this kind of thing. But I can't forgive you for what you've done to Bella." Esme's smile froze on her face.

"Whatever do you mean? She and Edward just shared an infatuation, I'm sure that she'll be just fine in no time. You know how these high school crushes are." The truth hit Carlisle like a freight train. Esme was right. These kind of crushes do blow over, however it is the people that invade your soul and heart, who are always on your mind that are the one's that stick with you for eternity. It was in that moment that he realized that he cared so much more for the young human fighting for her life in his home, more deeply, than he had ever felt for Esme. Sure there had been passion for a time, but it quickly burnt out and all that they were left with was a deep friendship.

"You quite right again, Esme. However, you were my high school crush and as such, your actions have caused 'us' to just blow over. I'm over you."

Her face contorted. "But, Carlisle!" She sounded desperate.

"What's the matter, Esme? This twenty year long affair of the mind, recently turned affair of the flesh turned out to be as fleeting as Edward's devotion to Bella?" His words stung her and once again she fell to her knees. "Go find someone else to tell your sob story to, Esme. I'm done. There is someone in that house, fighting for her life because of your careless actions and now, now, I'm going to return home to her and see to it that she pulls through. I would much rather share her company than yours, so how do they say it these days? Piss off, Esme." Without a second thought, he left her there on her knees, in the sleet. Truly if it were just him, he could have taken her back and ignored her little indiscretion, but suddenly he realized that he felt more deeply for Bella, than he had ever felt for Esme and this perplexed him. As he ran toward home, all that he could think of, was getting showered and warm and dry, then climbing in next to the broken woman who had become an even closer companion to his own heart, than even those who had shared his life for a century.

Charlie arrived, pleased to see Bella calm and listening to Rosalie reading to her. Bella suddenly, in her own broken way, was happy to see her Dad as well. Before Charlie had left, Alice had asked to accompany him home and borrow a few of Bella's personal effects to make the room a bit homier for her at the Cullen's. Charlie of course thought that this was a wonderful idea, in a lighter mood, since Bella acknowledged his presence this evening.

Alice followed him home and was soon in Bella's room. She quickly canvassed her room for all reminders of Edward and collected them into a trash bag, then went to work finding more books to bring with her and other personal effects. As she scanned Bella's bookshelf, she began to see a fascination in eighteenth century literature. She pulled from the shelf, many works by the Bronte sisters, as well as a nice leather bound copy of Shakespeare's Sonnets. Finally she was surprised to see a work by Jane Austen that she had never read, herself. Sense and Sensibility. "Well." Alice thought to herself. "I guess that I will be catching up on some of my reading as well." She said with a bit of a smile. She thought that she had covered all of Jane Austen, but apparently not.

Taking a quilt, seemingly made of great old T Shirts from various tourist traps from across the country, she showed Charlie what she planned on bringing.

"Sure, sure. That quilt there, Bella's mom made for her. They used to travel all over and go to the craziest tourist traps, collecting T Shirts. She'll like that. As for the books, you are more than welcome. There's also some movies if you want to come back." Charlie blushed a bit, raking a hand through his hair.

"Oh, and Charlie?" Alice was all dazzlement, now."

"Yeah?" Charlie blushed even deeper at Alice's pixie charm.

"There's a few things that I was wondering if you would mind taking out to the trash?" Alice opened the bag. With one look at the pictures of Edward floating around, he smiled and laughed.

"I'll just follow you out with this and leave it out for them to pick up tomorrow morning. Say, I like the way that you think, Alice Cullen."

Alice giggled, shyly and gave Charlie a quick hug goodbye, leaving him smiling stupidly in his driveway as she pulled away in her yellow Porche.

Arriving home, she felt a bit of anxiety about how things had gone between Carlisle and Esme, but the sudden feeling of absolute peace that hit her as she walked in the door, halted her in her tracks. Managing a quick look at Jasper, he quirked an eyebrow at her and patted the seat next to him. She quickly floated over to him and leaned her head in to hear what he had to say.

"So Carlisle comes home, soaking wet, without Esme and was whistling like he had just been out for a hunt." Jasper was all smiles. Alice seemed perplexed. "So I follow him upstairs, feeling a sense of peace that I have never felt from him before and somehow, a deep seated reguard, let's just say. He showered, singing all the while, changed and went back in to take his place next to Bella." Alice raised her eyebrows at this. Trying to see into their future, all Alice could see was a copy of Sense and Sensibility. This confounded her. Quickly, she began digging through the box of books that she had brought and decided that she had to read this book. Giving Jasper a quick kiss, she excused herself.

"It seems that I have some reading to do, honey." Jasper flashed her a smile as Emmet was dragging him off to play another game of Halo Reach.

As Alice passed Bella's bedroom door, she stopped to look at the scene before her, thoughtfully. Bella, face still tear streaked, rested alert in Carlisle's arms as he read Wuthering Heights to her. "Oh, this is my favorite part." Bella's voice rang out, though hoarse. Carlisle smiled down at her and placed a kiss on her forehead, before continuing on with what was apparently Bella's favorite monologue from the story.

Carlisle's voice rang out with the deepest drama as was fitting the scene. Bella was caught up in his own features as the scene rang out with his beautiful voice.

_'May she wake in torment!' he cried, with frightful vehemence, stamping his foot, and groaning in a sudden paroxysm of ungovernable passion. 'Why, she's a liar to the end! Where is she? Not __there__—not in heaven—not perished—where? Oh! you said you cared nothing for my sufferings! And I pray one prayer—I repeat it till my tongue stiffens—Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest as long as I am living; you said I killed you—haunt me, then! The murdered do haunt their murderers, I believe. I know that ghosts __have__ wandered on earth. Be with me always—take any form—drive me mad! only __do__ not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I __cannot__ live without my life! I __cannot__ live without my soul!'_

Bella sighed, contentedly and then Alice watched as she cuddled into Carlisle's chest as her eyelids began to flutter closed. Realizing that her breathing had changed, Alice felt as if she were spying on some intimate moment as Carlisle stopped reading and stared down at Bella's sleeping form. Suddenly, he quietly folded the book shut and set it aside, placed his freed up arm around her an bent his head to place a gentle kiss on each of her eyelids. Alice jumped back, not wanting to interrupt this most personal of moments. She put her hand to mouth and had to stifle a pixie giggle. Suddenly, she remembered her vision and looking down at the copy of Sense and Sensibility, she retreated to her room to devour her lost Jane Austen.

To Carlisle's delight, Bella managed to sleep through the night, with no nightmares. In the morning, she awoke and blushed as her stomach let a mighty growl. Pleased to hear that she was hungry, Carlisle insisted that he make breakfast for her, himself, while she took a few of her human moments.

With the help of Rosalie and Alice, Bella soaked in the most wonderful bath that she felt she ever had enjoyed. She relished the feeling of shaving her legs. Still wobbly, they helped her out of the tub, fresh and smelling of her usual and very own strawberry shampoo and conditioner, thanks to Alice's foresight to snag them while at Charlie's the night before. Wrapped in the towel, Bella suddenly froze at what Alice had laid out for her to wear.

"What is this? Where are my sweats?" Bella was blushing a deep red over a long, very modest, but silky, light blue nightgown.

"Your sweats are in the wash, Bella. I'll order some more for you if you love them so much, but don't fret yourself about that nightgown. Little Red Riding Hood's grandmother would have worn it.

"Only if she were some kind of Pariah!"

Rosalie couldn't stifle her laugh over the argument. Finally they got Bella to put on the nightgown and settled in bed, just in time for Carlisle to appear in the doorway with a very fancy tray. Fresh, hot buttered apple cinnamon muffins sat in a plate with a glass of orange juice, and even a camellia inside of a small vase, graced true. Alice elbowed Rosalie, who gave her a very strange look.

Bella met Carlisle with a smile as she propped herself up on her pillows.

"Now, there's my girl!" Carlisle was delighted to see her smiling. "Try Carlisle Cullen's very own apple cinnamon muffins."

"Carlisle," Bella blushed, "you shouldn't have gone to so much trouble."

"No problem at all, let's just see you keep it down, or it might just hurt my feelings." Carlisle gently lowered himself down next to Bella on the mattress and spread a napkin in her lap, taking just a sliver of a glimpse at her satin nighty.

It seemed that everyone in the house came to see if the resident human would keep her food down this morning. Bella took one bite, then two, and a sip of orange juice. Her eyes brightened. "Mmm, these are delicious. Thank you so much Carlisle." Carlisle seemed to be on cloud nine at Bella's compliment. Suddenly, it all came back to Alice. She had read Sense and Sensibility the night before. She tried not to let her overly romantic mind take over, but it was almost as if Edward had been Bella's wildly romantic and deeply passionate Willoughby. Could it be that Carlisle was her Colonel Brandon? Alice decided to try and bump it in the right direction.

"Say, Carlisle. How about we reward Bella with some fresh air if she can keep breakfast down."

Carlisle looked curious. "How would you suggest that we reward her?" He definitely looked interested.

"Well, I was thinking that maybe since the rain has died down, that maybe we could wrap her up snug and warm and maybe you could read to her out of Shakespeare's Sonnets. I brought them from her house last night."

Carlisle looked at Bella thoughtfully. "Sonnets, huh? What would you say to that, Miss Swan?"

Bella blushed a bit, but played along, though she was week and her voice was soft. "Why Mr. Cullen, that sounds delightful."

"Sonnets it is then. But first, I want you to rest for a bit, it's still a bit chilly after that storm last night. Perhaps this afternoon." Bella seemed agreeable to this as she finished off half of the second muffin and washing it down with the orange juice.

"Wow, I feel much better, but eating made me sleepy." Bella was visibly getting tired with all of the exertion. Rosalie stepped forward and took the tray and napkin from her lap. Carlisle held out his arm, once again to her and she cuddled into his side and quickly drifted off to sleep.

As Alice watched Rose pass her in the doorway, Rosalie gave Alice the most slight of winks.

Charlie stopped by after work that afternoon and was overwhelmed with the changes in Bella. Carlisle made sure not to be sharing the bed with her, out of respect for Charlie, so Charlie sidled up next to his "Bells" and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She still looked so frail and she had lost weight, which was very apparent on her already slight frame, but Charlie was overjoyed to see her talking and hearing that she had eaten quite well at breakfast. After he and Bella said their goodbye's, Carlisle walked Charlie to the door.

"Now would it be asking too much, Chief Swan, if Bella continued to stay with us for a while? She is doing so much better, but I fear that she could easily slip backwards if we let her go too soon." Carlisle tried to be as delicate as possible.

"Well, how long were you wanting to stay, I mean, I have no complaints. She is obviously doing much better today, but I have my concerns about her returning to Forks High." Charlie confided this in Carlisle and Carlisle thought about it for a few moments.

"I think that I could offer a solution, if you are willing. Of course it's completely up to you, Charlie."

"I'm open to anything that you have to suggest right now, Carlisle. I owe my daughter's life and well being to you. What do you suggest?"

"Well, it may sound a bit strange, but let her stay here with us and complete her Senior year online. That way she could continue to recover, which to fully recover after the experience that she's had could take months. I can only imagine what trying to face friends at school might do to her delicate mental condition."

Charlie thought hard for a while, rubbing his chin as he considered. Finally he couldn't help but see the truth in Carlisle's suggestion. "Yes, I can see your point. But I would never want to impose upon your family." Charlie had his pride.

"Charlie, it is absolutely no imposition. Bella is a joy to have around and I would be more than happy to have her around the house. Jasper and Rosalie graduated last year and I'm sure that they would be a great help to her."

With this, the two men shook hands, Charlie, clasping Carlisle on the back. "Well, I can't thank you enough, Carlisle."

"Just don't be a stranger, Charlie, okay?"

Charlie nodded and headed out the door to his cruiser.

Though cloudy, the day seemed to be warming up to a brisk fifty seven degrees. Carlisle decided against bringing Bella outside, but instead opted to open her window and spread the quilt that her mom had made for her over the duvet, while he read sonnets to her. One in particular stuck out in his mind, his favorite that he looked forward to sharing with her.

That afternoon, Bella sat, watching Carlisle's face as he read Shakespeare's Sonnets to her. She felt herself being drawn in by the clear, crystal like sound of his voice and the honey color of his eyes as they changed with the emotion of each sonnet. She blushed just as she realized that she had been staring.

"And here, Bella, is my favorite sonnet. Shall I read it for you?" Bella nodded, smiling up at him and blushing yet again. Carlisle's beautiful voice began to read as Bella's mind took in the words.

"Ah, here it is. Number 116. _Let me not to the marriage of true minds  
Admit impediments. Love is not love  
Which alters when it alteration finds,  
Or bends with the remover to remove:  
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark  
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;  
It is the star to every wandering bark,  
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.  
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks  
Within his bending sickle's compass come:  
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,  
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.  
If this be error and upon me proved,  
I never writ, nor no man ever loved_

Bella sighed as he finished reading. Her mind began to sweep over the meaning of the sonnet as she felt tears prick at her eyes, suddenly. It spoke of a love that doesn't demand one or the other to change who they are, but stands fast unto the very end. Suddenly Carlisle noticed Bella's tears and realized that now may have not been the best time to share that sonnet with her. He could have kicked himself.

Wiping the tears from her cheeks, he cuddled her in closer. "I'm sorry, Bella. I must have exhausted you. Rest, little one."

"You won't leave?" Bella's voice quivered with her emotion.

"Not until you order me away." That got a small smile out of Bella as once again, her exhaustion overtook her and she drifted off to sleep with Carlisle's scent surrounding her. It was becoming even more necessary to her ability to sleep, than even the sedative that he hadn't bothered giving her at all today. Carlisle watched her with a pained heart, after realizing what the sonnet must have reminded her of. It was a bit of a shock to him, that the sonnet reminded him of the way that she loved. Without reserve, for Edward, even unto death. The last thing that Carlisle thought before he reached to set the book down and turn off the lamp was what a fool Edward was to have overlooked just what he had in the palm of his hand.

*Exerbts from Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights and Shakespeare's Sonnet number 116.

**So, let me know what you think. I love discussions. **


	5. Chapter 5

*I in no way shape or form, own these characters, or any rights to the unbelievable fortune that Stephenie Meyer is surely raking in due to the invention of these characters.

*Thanks to all of the very kind reviews and critical, that I have received. I love them all, for the encouragement, as well as the teaching. I love you all!

**Chapter 5**

**Coming to Senses and Gaining Sensibilities **

Just as Bella felt that she was beginning to feel better, the nightmares started again. They were tricky dreams, luring her in with visions of times spent with Edward. Lying in the meadow, watching his diamond flesh sparkle in the sunlight. It was their own private bliss. Hanging on to his back as he teasingly called her spider monkey, climbing to the tops of the tallest Douglas Firs to see the glorious view of a storm approaching over the sound. She even dreamed of standing in the clearing of the baseball field with the family, the waterfall crashing down, only competing with the thunder overhead and the cracking of the bats as they were wielded with vampire strength. Alas, they would always turn on her. The last she remembered having before being gently shaken awake by Carlisle was standing on the baseball field, huddled together against the uncertainty of the three nomads who came into view. Instead of whispering assurances to Bella, she would suddenly see Edward turn and share a look of smoldering passion with Esme, at the same time, wrapping his arm around her own shoulders.

When she awoke to Carlisle's gentle coaxing, she felt hot, sweaty and tear soaked.

"There, there, now, little one." Carlisle's concerned voice floated over her, but it did no good to soothe the feeling that once again, her heart was swelling with the curse of unrequited love. The love that she felt in her heart, was as if it were turning to poison on the inside, souring and festering, but with no chance of release. As she opened her eyes to the morning light, she quickly squinted and shielded her vision from the light. She had a terrible headache. Looking through bleary eyes up into Carlisle's pained face, she only saw a blurry version of his normally flawless features.

"Oh, Bella, you're burning up with fever." Carlisle's hand felt like and ice burg against her burning flesh. She saw him twist his head around looking for someone or some thing. "Alice, Rosalie, I need you!" There was no need for him to shout, but she noticed that he seemed almost panicked. He looked down at her once again. "Bella, please stay with me and fight. Please." He held her to him¸ to Bella's bewilderment. She was sure that she could feel him shuddering with hidden sobs. But why would he be so bereft over her illness. She reconciled in her mind that any father would act as such over a sick child, but the amount of fright seemed a bit out of place. She pushed away from him and in a brief moment, put her hand to his own cheek to sooth him. He looked down at her with an emotion that she felt she should have known, but it seemed so foreign to her.

Alice and Rosalie were at his side in a second, concerned looks on their faces. Carlisle looked desperate. "Help her into a lukewarm bath. Not hot and not cold." He was speaking to his daughters as Bella had once heard him speak to his own nurses at the hospital in the middle of treating a trauma. They both nodded at once as Bella tried to sit up by herself, but felt that her limbs were weighted down. As she attempted to rise, her head spun. Within the twinkling of an eye, she found herself in Rosalie's capable arms as she carried her toward the bathroom with Alice in tow.

"Wow, Bella. You normally smell wonderful, but with a fever, I could wonder if you were my singer." Rosalie was trying to make a joke, but it only received a quick rebuke from Carlisle. "Not the time, Rose!"

Rosalie looked apologetic. "I'm sorry Bella, I was only trying to make you smile. Alice looked reproachfully at her.

"Gee, Rose. In a houseful of vampires, at her weakest, telling her that she smells almost irrresistable is not exactly what I would call worthy of a smile."

"No." Bella managed in a voice strained and cracking from crying out in the night. "I know that you were just joking Rosalie. It's alright." Bella managed a small smile, but quickly her aching head lulled back.

Alice ministered to preparing the bath as Rosalie held Bella close to her. As they laid Bella into the lukewarm water, it felt both heavenly to her head and hellish to her aching body. "What is the matter with me?" Bella managed weakly.

Alice and Rosalie shared a look between them. Alice answered. "Carlisle feels that you may have caught some kind of flue for some reason. He'll fill you in when he gets back."

Bella's eyes flew open. "Where did he go?" She felt a sudden sense of panic and worry at the thought of him not being near. Alice looked concerned and both thoughtfully at her.

"He's just gone to hunt, sweetheart. He'll be back by the time that you're out of the tub." She gently began to wash Bella's sweat matted hair and Bella tried to relax into Alice's gentle touch. Bella began to search her mind for the reason that she felt so out of place without Carlisle around, but just couldn't for the life of her understand why. Carlisle had only been as a father figure to her. She lay back pondering this as Alice began to massage strawberry conditioner into Bella's long hair. Alice took special care, making sure that she combed it all the way through to the ends of Bella's waist length tresses¸ before gently holding her neck in her hand as she poured clean water over Bella's hair, to rinse it.

As Bella arose from the bath, her teeth chattered as if she were chilled, but her body burned with fever. Rosalie helped Bella into a brand new pair of light blue, Victoria's Secret Pink brand sweatpants, with a matching tank top. Bella felt more comfortable in this attire, despite the fact that Pink was written across her backside. Obviously Alice had been shopping for her.

Barely able to walk on her own, she breathed, falteringly against the ache in her chest that was her heart and was so happy to see the comfort of the fresh sheeted bed awaiting her, Carlisle standing beside it, hands behind his back, looking out the window. It flashed across Bella's mind that Carlisle was so chivalrous toward her modesty, yet there for her, to hold her, when she needed him most. He was quite the enigma to her. However, as soon as she was settled in the bed, she felt her body curl around itself once again, against the barrage of pain that throbbed in her chest.

Carlisle was gone and back in a flash with a glass of water and two Advil. Bella could hardly swallow the gel caps through her swollen throat. As it took effect and her fever began to come down, her vision sharpened and for the first time in her life, she saw Carlisle Cullen, standing in the window, in deep thought, with the sun shining on his face. His skin dazzled. Little prisms danced across the room with his every facial movement. He was beautiful.

He waited, while her temperature reduced and then explained to her that he felt it best to sedate her again, so that she could get a restful and not a tormented sleep. Bella reluctantly complied. Once again, as sedative was administered and Carlisle lay with her, until he heard her breathing begin to even out.

His thoughts raced across the moment that she touched his own cheek and he looked down into her pure, kind face. It was the most disturbing moment of his existence. Truly he had taken care of probably a million patients in his time, but never had he experienced the soft electric charge that went through him at Bella's innocent touch. If truth be told, he was deeply disturbed by the very nature of feelings that her touch dug up inside of him. He recognized things that he had been noticing as a footnote in the past. The way that when the sun caught her hair, it wasn't just chestnut, but a deep auburn, with such a silky texture, that he longed to feel it between his fingers, to brush it. How her eyes carried what at first seemed like a casual timidness, but if you were to look closer, they truly held proof of a heart wide open and an intelligence that took in every aspect of her world. Her skin was smooth and baby soft and she often had the most wonderful scent about her. Her heart, well, her heart was another matter. How she could take this family of vegetarian vampires, so in to her heart and love them, even after what Edward had done to her was beyond him.

Suddenly, he arose and ran his hands through his hair. What was he thinking? He was acting like a love sick puppy, or courtesan to a queen. He needed to talk to someone about these feelings and try to work them out, make sense of them some how. Opening the study door, he walked over to his desk and was just about to pick up the phone and call his dear old friend Eleazar, when his chair swiveled around at an alarming speed. There sat Alice, with an 'I knew it' smile on her face.

"Alice. What on Earth are you doing in my study?" Carlisle was a bit put out at his invasion of privacy, along with the heaviness of the thoughts that he had been experiencing.

"Carlisle, don't forget that I'm the magic eight ball." Alice smiled, her most impish smile. Carlisle raised his eyebrows at this remark. "I am telling you now that you need to think twice before calling Eleazar, or are you forgetting that his home was exactly where Esme and Edward retreated to and were welcomed, despite the God awful nature of their actions? Truly, what kind of friend would allow such a thing to happen under his own roof, without so much as calling you?" Alice even seemed a bit perturbed by the end of this tirade. Carlisle had never really thought about it like that.

"Well," he said, uncertainly, "I could really use someone to talk to right now." He wiped a hand down his face. Alice gracefully jumped up from his chair and motioned for him to sit. She began to pace in front of his desk, thoughtfully.

"I'm here, Carlisle and I will begin by telling you that the feelings that you are having are not inappropriate at all. They are the exact feelings that I have seen come to fruition."

Carlisle sat, flabbergasted, unable to speak. Alice continued. "Have you ever read Sense and Sensibility, Carlisle?" There was a smile on Alice's lips. Carlisle was silent for a moment and then his eyes widened at his perfect alacrity of every book that he had read since his change.

"I remember a Maryanne Dashwood having her heart dashed to bits by a well meaning, but in the end, selfish courter. She became very ill and nearly died. In the end it was the quiet, unassuming Colonel who quietly won over her affections." Then his eyes grew wide. "Alice. Are you saying that I am Colonel Brandon to her Maryanne Dashwood?" Alice only inclined an eyebrow with a smug look on her face.

"Is it really possible for Bella to love someone like me?" Alice remained quiet, listening to Carlisle, as she knew that that was exactly what he needed her to do. He needed to work his thoughts out aloud. A streak of lightening split the sky, closely followed by a report of thunder, overhead, just as an assault of rain began patterning against the study windows. Carlisle seemed oblivious. "Is it possible that she could be feeling something for me?" He looked hard at Alice for an answer. Finally she spoke.

"You are a man, Carlisle, and it is entirely understandable for you to have such feelings for such a wonderful young woman. As for Bella, she may have these feelings for you, but either not realize what they are yet, or may be afraid to act upon them, thinking that you would only see her as a silly girl."

Carlisle's eyes were wide with revelation. "Oh, I need to hunt." He arose from his chair to exit through the window.

"Wait!" Alice interjected. "Take Jasper with you. I'm not sure why, but I don't want you going out alone and Jasper will understand your need to have time to think." Carlisle only absently nodded, just as Jasper appeared in the doorway, sharing a knowing glance with Alice. It was nearly impossible for a vampire to have a normal conversation in the house, without it being heard by everyone else, as their hearing was so sensitive. Without a thought, or a word to Jasper, Carlisle jumped through the window at Jasper's arrival, lost in his own thoughts.

About an hour into Carlisle's hunt, Bella awoke with a start. She looked around to find herself alone, but with the feeling that someone had just been in the room. It wasn't the comforting feeling, that Carlisle or Alice, or Rose had just been there, but a very strange feeling, of being watched while she slept. It was then that she noticed the small bouquet of wild flowers on the pillow next to her and the envelope underneath with her name scrawled on it with perfect penmanship. With shaking hands, she opened the envelope. What she read, made tears form in her eyes, once again, but another feeling came rumbling through her chest as she read.

_Dearest Bella,_

_I can never say how sorry that I am for my actions. I realize how horrible it must have made you feel and for that I am eternally morose. Please try and understand that I now know that I could be the things that you wanted me to be. I can touch you and love you in the way that you needed to be loved. I could never be sure unless I tried. Please try and understand, but I did it out of love and the need to be sure that I wouldn't hurt you. Please accept my deepest apologies, but forgive me and consider that I do love you and know that as a fact now. Please forgive me and say that you'll be mine, forever. I swear that I will never hurt you again, my darling Bella._

_Always Yours,_

_Edward_

Bella blinked as more tears came, but with it, a disgusted feeling that she had been spied upon. That Edward had dared to come to her after all that he did. With a surge of pain and anger, she crumbled up the letter and shakily rose from her bed, approaching the window. Throwing it open she crumpled the petals and stems of the wildflowers to be carried off into the winds of the storms. She shook with her own fury as she shouted into the night. "Edward Cullen! Do not even consider coming near me again! How dare you invade my privacy after what you have done. You are not forgiven, nor will you ever be. You are not who I thought that you were and so I was a fool to consider myself in love with you! Go away and leave me to heal. I never want to see you again!"

And with that, she shut the window so hard, that it nearly rattled the room. Alice, Emmet, and Rosalie were in the room in a moment, finding Bella, crumpled in the floor, listless, with tears running down her face. They had heard it all. Emmet rushed forward and picked Bella up, placing her back into the bed and covering her shivering form, with the warm blankets. Rosalie stooped to pick up the crumbled note, laying where Bella had and read it. Shaking her head at the fact that Edward had the balls to come into their home and to ask such a thing of Bella, left a fury burning deep inside of her.

She lifted a cool hand, to feel Bella's forehead, once again burning up. With a voice, uncharacteristically soft for Rosalie, she comforted Bella. "You did the right thing, Bella. I am proud to call you sister. You showed such strength in the face of such a terrible deed. Rest now." Rosalie placed a gentle kiss on Bella's forehead and headed into Carlisle's study to get more Advil for Bella.

Alice sadly took in Bella's pain, but with the knowledge of the conversation that she had just had with Carlisle, a new idea began to gestate in her head. Squeezing Bella's hot, sweaty hand, she rushed away into her and Jasper's room and quickly logged on to . Alice had a plan and she would see that it played out in the morning.

Upon Carlisle's return, he found Bella to be awake and shivering. As he entered the room, he had the strangest warm sensation flow through his chest at the sight of relief and even need in Bella's eyes at his appearance. It nearly broke him when she reached out for him and he quickly went to her and climbed into bed beside her, enfolding her in his arms. Feeling that the fever had returned he looked to Rosalie, who sat in Bella's old rocking chair in the corner. Rosalie smiled gently at her father. "I just gave her more Advil, only fifteen minutes ago. I suggest that you sedate her again, Carlisle. She needs to rest and there is something that we must discuss."

Looking down at Bella, clinging to him, Carlisle hated to use more of the sedative on her, but saw the turmoil that she was in. He couldn't argue with Rosalie that Bella needed the rest. Refusing to leave her side, he asked Rosalie to bring him his medical bag. Without completely releasing Bella from his arms, he retrieved a sterile syringe and the sedative. Without thinking, he pulled her sweats down slightly in the back, only to find that the flesh that revealed itself to him, caused an unusual stirring in him. Had he been able to blush, he certainly would have now, as Jasper cleared his throat, feeling the slight wave of lust that washed off of Carlisle. Pleading with Jasper with his eyes, he only got a wave of reassurance and understanding. Carlisle loved Bella and everyone in the house knew it, but Bella. Concentrating on the task at hand, he swabbed a spot toward the back of her hip, with alcohol and gave her another shot of the sedative. Bella hissed a bit as it entered her system, but almost immediately, her death grip on Carlisle's shirt relaxed, causing Carlisle to feel almost sorry that he had to sedate her. H HHhelijasd;lkfjsa;ldkjf

He enjoyed the feeling of being needed by her, but there was business to attend to. However he made up his mind that it could be attended to right there in Bella's room. He would not be leaving her side for a second time that night.

He winced and felt a rage that he had never experienced before as Rosalie showed him the note that Edward dared leave on her pillow. At that moment, had Edward been present, Carlisle would have ripped him limb from limb, without any sentimentality toward his son. Something deep inside him screamed, 'mine' at the thought of Edward being near Bella.

Rosalie went on to tell of the reaction that it incited in Bella, however, and a feeling of relief and pride washed over Carlisle. He thanked Rosalie for looking after her and for filling him in on the details, but asked that he be left alone with his Bella and wrapping her tightly in his arms, he rested his cheek on top of her sweet smelling hair and held her closely, fighting off her nightmares by sheer will, until grey sunrise began to peak its way across the Cascade Mountains in the East.


	6. Dreams and Jane Eyre

*I in no way shape or form, own these characters, or any rights to the unbelievable fortune that Stephenie Meyer is surely raking in due to the invention of these characters.

*Thanks to all of the very kind reviews and critical, that I have received. I love them all, for the encouragement, as well as the teaching. I love you all!

**Chapter 8**

**Dreams and Jane Eyre**

Bella only dreamed in a haze that night, nothing acutely uncomfortable, but felt enveloped in safety and warmth. She started to wake as the sun began rising, but feeling so languidly comforted in Carlisle's arms, she allowed herself to drift back into a cozy slumber. This time however, she did dream and found it to be a most curious dream. She stood in the back of what looked to be a deserted chapel. Candle's provided the only light and the flickered and flamed with the breeze that whipped through the chapel from time to time. Gazing down at the aisle that she stood, she noticed dried rose petals, strewn down its length.

Her eyes followed the aisle to find Carlisle at its end, dressed and looking very handsome in a very well tailored tux. However, the look on his face was not that of a beaming bridegroom, but of the deepest compassion. She took all of this in as the glint off of something metallic caught her eye in Carlisle's right hand. It was a surgical knife. Just then, the pain in her chest, the heaviness of her festeringly heavy heart pulled her to her knees. To her amazement, she felt no fear, but instead a need to get to the end of the aisle and that blade. She trusted Carlisle and needed to get to him, and so she began to crawl on all fours, with all of her strength. Reaching the alter, she collapsed, flipping over on to her back and looked at Carlisle with all of the pain that she carried. She begged him internally to end her pain, to relieve the pressure that her chest carried of the love that she had felt for Edward, but was not quite able to expel. As he slowly crouched down, his right hand, with the knife poised over the left side of her chest. The look on his face held more pain the she could bare to see, but she begged and pleaded for him to end her pain. With a look of anguish and unshed tears, Carlisle lowered the blade and cut open her chest. Surprisingly, the pain in her heart, eclipsed that of the incision and she nearly groaned in need of him to cut open her heart, to drain the pain of love unrequited that swelled it beyond human possibility. Intent upon his work he slashed her heart with a quick flick of his wrist and Bella smiled, weakly, pain causing her forehead to crease. Gently, Carlisle helped her over onto her knees and as if in retching, her heart began to bleed out crimson blood and sepsis onto the alter. With each faltering beat, she began to feel a sense of relief. Her heart was emptying all of its painful contents and she began sob with the pain that she had held inside for so long.

After what seemed like hours, her tears began to dry as the ache in her still beating heart cease to plague her every waking moment. With this, Carlisle laid a hand on her heart and it was sealed. Suddenly, he picked her up bridal style and looking deep into her eyes, he licked the wound left by the blade on her skin, causing her to shudder with the pleasure as his tongue sealed the incision. She reached her arms out to him and felt a rush of pleasure as he held her close to him. It was then that she realized that she felt more for her savior, then just friendship. Her heart pounded, pleasurably at this realization as he held her to him.

She awoke with a great start, bathed in sweat, blinking at the light that flooded her room. He was there, standing above her, with a smile that rivaled even the sun itself. Reaching down to feel her forehead, he seemed to let out a long breath. He tenderly wiped her sweaty tendrils away from her face. Bella colored deeply at his touch, with her newly discovered feelings.

"Oh, thank God, Bella. You're fever broke about thirty minutes ago. You're out of the woods, dear heart." Carlisle's voice was low and full of emotion. This puzzled Bella. Would it ever be possible that he would return these feelings? She sat up in bed, slowly, trying to hide her blush, only to find that her strength had returned, somewhat. She couldn't help but smile herself. Not only was her body on the mend, but her heart, as if the dream itself were somehow true, felt as if it was also healing.

"Carlisle, is it alright for me to take a shower. I feel like I can walk by myself." Bella couldn't help but feel herself smile as she said this. Carlisle considered for a moment.

"Okay, dear, but on one condition."

Bella raised an eyebrow in question and Carlisle gently touched her chin, with a look of admiration that created warm feelings that she read in his gaze.

"You must at least have Alice present while you shower. I won't have my Bella falling and hurting herself."

My Bella, he had called her. Bella's heart secretly soared. She quickly agreed, feeling so much lighter this morning. Alice was already in the doorway with a new pair of sweats and and tank top, as well as a sweatshirt that matched the sweatpants. Bella giggled to herself as she read the sweatshirt. " University of Pink, huh? Really Alice?" Bella heard Carlisle chuckle at her remark. Alice looked put out.

"Really, Bella. If you insist on wearing sweats, they might as well have some femininity to them." Bella was amused that Alice may have shopped for her, but always left her finger prints on the styles that she chose.

"Truly, Alice, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I appreciate what you have done for me, I really do. I love you, Alice. Don't ever change." This seemed to chirk Alice up as she sprang back into happy pixie mode.

"Great, thank you, Bella. Now come with me and let's get you out of those sweaty clothes." Alice's nose wrinkled a bit as she said this. "Rosalie will change out the sweaty sheets while you shower."

Bella felt deeply grateful for the care that her adoptive family showed toward her. She felt awkward for a moment, wanting to express herself, but expressing her emotions was never one of her strong suits. Alice helped her out.

"Now, now, Bella. We know that you appreciate us. There's no need to make yourself uncomfortable." Alice actually raced forward and hugged sweaty Bella. "Now, let's get you into the shower. You're soaked." Carlisle chuckled once again at this. Rosalie appeared with an armful of fresh flannel sheets as Bella was entering the bathroom. Once the door was closed and the shower turned on, she could hear Rosalie and Carlisle's voices, but couldn't make out exactly what they were saying. As she undressed by herself, Alice turned her back to at least allow Bella the illusion of privacy.

"I don't know why you even bother, Alice. It's not like you haven't bathed me yourself over the last week."

"Well, now you're on your feet, Bella. Get into the shower and let's talk."

"Talk about what?"

"About that dream that you had this morning."

Bella froze under the water and immediately felt a blush creep up her chest. Oh well, if she were going to talk about it with anyone, it might as well be Alice. After all, Alice had already seen it all.

As the normal cloud cover that Eastern Washington State was so famous for rolled in that afternoon, Bella sat on the bed with Carlisle playing game after game of chess. Bella had lost five in a row, but was a fast learner. Finally as she was able to say "Check Mate", for the first time that day, her flush of pride was interrupted by the doorbell ringing. She was disappointed for a moment, having her victory being interrupted, but couldn't help but laugh at the look of amusement at Carlisle's smug smile, having lost a game, finally, just as Bella heard Charlie's voice as he ascended the stairs. Bella felt a rise of elation and was even happier to see the look of relief and happiness that Charlie exuded to see Bella up, bathed and playing chess with Carlisle.

"Bells, you seem to be feeling better." He crossed the floor to give Bella one of their awkward side hugs, just before he gave her a quick peck on the cheek, causing them both to blush a bit.

"Oh, it was just the flu, Dad. I'm alright." Bella dismissed his concern with a smile.

"Bella, you must continue to rest, however. I'm afraid that the stress on your body may have weakened your immune system somewhat." Carlisle was every bit the part of Dr. Cullen at that moment. They were all surprised to hear the doorbell ring once again.

"Are you holding court now, Bella?" Charlie teased. "Who else were you expecting today?"

"I wasn't expecting to see anyone but you today, Dad." Bella was a bit confused and nervous, until she heard a squeal of delight erupt from Alice downstairs.

"Uh oh." Carlisle joked. "This could be either really good or really bad for you Bella. It's UPS. That means that you may be getting even more of Alice's style suggestions delivered." Bella sighed as Charlie looked on with a bit of an amused smile on his face. It hadn't escaped his notice that Bella was dressed in a Pink University Sweatshirt and matching pink sweat pants.

Just then, Alice came dancing up the stairs, carrying an enormous box and hopped on the bed next to Bella. "Surprise. Open it!" Alice was nearly buzzing with excitement. Bella noticed almost immediately that it wasn't clothes as was clearly written on the top of the box.

"Alice!" Bella groaned. "You know that I hate it when you spend money on me."

"Oh, you just need to get over that, now, Bella. I have money and I'll spend it how I like." Alice gently scolded.

"Here, here!" Carlisle betrayed Bella, with a gleam in his eye.

Bella removed the tape from the box and began digging through packing kernals. The first thing that she found caused her a moment of confusion. A DVD player. She shot Alice a questioning look as Alice nodded her on. Bella pulled out several DVD's. She had to admit, Alice knew how to shop for her. They were mostly period pieces. Jane Eyre, starring Samantha Morton and Ciaran Hinds, a boxed set of the Masterpiece Theatre collection of Pride and Prejudice and a copy of Sense and Sensibility starring Emma Thompson and Allan Rickman.

"Well," Bella blushed a bit, "you certainly know how to shop for me, but you didn't have to. What am I supposed to watch this on Alice?" Alice let out a squeal just as Jasper rounded the corner with a fifty five inch flat screen T.V. Emmet followed close behind with an enormous tool box. "Oh, Alice, you didn't!"

"Well, you couldn't exactly watch the DVD's in your head, now could you." Bella shot her a withering glance. Charlie only stood aside and laughed at Bella's apparent embarrassment at such a fuss made over her.

"Well, Bella, dig deeper. There's one more thing in that box." Alice rocked back and forth with excitement. Bella sighed and reached inside to find a large flat box. Pulling it out, it read, Toshiba Satellite L655.

"Alice! What have you done?" Bella couldn't believe her eyes. It was a top of the line laptop.

"Well, you need to keep in touch with Renee, and I just can't abide by you using that dinosaur of a computer that is in your bedroom right now. No offense, Charlie!" Alice suddenly felt a bit sheepish, but Charlie only giggled back at her.

"None taken."

"See, Bella, this way you can tap into our high speed wireless network. No more waiting for a modem."

Bella had to admit, she was touched, although embarrassed by Alice's kind gesture. Reaching out to hug Alice, she muttered her thanks. "I truly am thankful, Alice. I am speechless."

"No need to thank me, Bella. I am here to serve and as you have some time on your hands still to rest and start your schooling online, I just wanted to help you endure your recovery." Bella looked at Carlisle who only beamed and shrugged his shoulders.

Charlie cleared his throat and began to shout a bit over the drill that was carving out a circle in the wall, held by Jasper, who was installing the gigantic flat screen. "I can see that you are being well taken care of. I love you, Bells, just keep getting better. With an amused look on his face, he gave her a quick kiss on top of her head and shouted. See ya later, kid!" Shaking Carlisle's hand he smiled and made his exit.

Alice grabbed the Toshiba box from Bella and began to set it up for her. Inside Bella was actually very grateful. She hadn't e-mailed her mom in weeks. As soon as it was sat up, she quickly logged into her e-mail account. Bella knew that Renee must be beside herself, hearing from Charlie all that was going on. Logging into her Gmail account, she began to write.

_Dear Renee,_

_I know that you are aware of the fact that I've had quite a hard time over the past couple of weeks, but I want you to know that I am coming out of the other side. I know that anyone who could treat me as Edward did, just isn't worth my while. Carlisle, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmet are taking such great care of me that I am happy to be here. Actually, they spoil me rotten._

_I look forward to starting school online in a week or so. I've been ordered by Carlisle to take at least a week more to rest before I begin, but I nearly have enough credits to graduate, anyhow, due to all of the A.P. classes that I have taken. I just didn't want to return to Forks High with all that has happened. I'm sure that you of all people understand how gossip can travel in this town._

_Anyhow, I'm well and over the flu, my fever broke this morning and I am feeling more myself again, though perhaps, even happier? I love you and please send my love to Phil as well. Take care of yourself, Mom, and don't do anything that I wouldn't do. LOL!_

_Love,_

_Bella_

Feeling better having e-mailed her mom, she challenged Carlisle to yet another match of Chess, that he readily accepted. She would go on to lose three more, but won on the fourth.

"You're catching on, Bella." Carlisle gave her an approving look that melted her heart. She felt herself growing tired and with that, Carlisle began putting away the gorgeous Ebony and Ivory Chess set that was his and insisted that Bella take a nap. She slept soundly and felt well rested when she woke around seven P.M. As she lay awakening, she thought her most personal thoughts about this change in feelings that she had for Carlisle. She hoped that they would just go away. Bella didn't feel like she could be crushed again.

After another quick shower, Bella felt fresh and revived as she actually sat up to the breakfast bar, munching on blue corn chips and chipotle hummus. Carlisle was so happy to see her eating, that he had to try very hard not to stare and make her feel like a lab rat.

As Bella finished her snack, she felt well sated. Just then, Alice came bouncing down the steps and announced that she had set a movie up for Bella, now that the massive flat screen was installed. Still feeling a bit on the week side, Bella thanked her and rose from her stool to head upstairs. She stopped, very shy to ask, but looked back at Carlisle. "Would you like to watch the movie with me? I mean, I'm sure that you have a lot of catching up to do, so if you can't I . . .

"I would love to, Bella!" Carlisle's sudden answer caused her heart to leap in her chest. He almost seemed relieved that she had asked. She tried to tame the hope in her heart that seemed a constant presence these days, but as she relaxed into the bed beside him, she couldn't help but feel soothed by his presence.

They sat watching Jane Eyre together and seemed to be pulled like gravity to one another growing closer and closer. It came to the point in the movie that Mr. Rochester was offering Jane an escape into a position as a governess in Ireland. Jane's heart was breaking at the thought of losing him, as she believed that he was to marry Blanche Ingram. Just then Mr. Rochester began to explain that it seemed that there was a string that reached from his heart to Jane's and no matter how far away that he went that they would somehow remain connected. It was in that moment, that Bella realized that this was precisely how she was feeling toward Carlisle. She couldn't help but look up into his face, studying it, but was mortified, when he suddenly looked down at her, catching her in her close study.

"What is it, dear heart?" If Carlisle had a beating heart, it would have been doing flips inside of his chest at the way that Bella was so intensely looking at him.

"It's nothing." Bella felt herself blush a deep red as she dipped her head, ashamed that he had caught her in her most personal thoughts.

She felt a cool finger under her chin, forcing her to look back up into his face. Into those golden, shining eyes of his. "Please, Bella. Don't be afraid. I so want to know what you are thinking right now." He brushed his fingers down the side of her face and gave her such an empathetic look, that she suddenly felt like she needed to come clean. To tell him how she felt.

Stuttering, she tried. "It's just that, w-well, I understand what Mr. Rochester was saying, well, when he was talking about the string that connected them."

"Do you, Bella? How so?" Was that hope in his voice that she was detecting.

"Carlisle." Bella took a deep breath as butterflies were swarming in her stomach. "It's how I feel about you. I feel so connected to you. I don't want to sleep unless you're here and I miss you when you're out hunting, even for a little while." A single tear leaked out of Bella's eye. Carlisle reached up a finger to wipe it away, but Bella felt overwhelmed with embarrassment at her exclamation, so she dodged his attempt at kindness and buried her face in her pillow instead, feeling shame.

"Bella?" Carlisle tried to get her to look up at him again. "Bella!" He surprised himself at the volume of his voice. Bella's head snapped up in shock at his tone. He shook his head in his own shame.

"Bella, there is no need to feel embarrassed. You have made me the happiest man in the world." He could see Bella's countenance begin to change. "I have felt the same way about you for some time, but never imagined that such a woman could return my affections. Bella gasped as another tear slipped down her face. This time she allowed him to capture it on his finger and he brought it to his lips and planted a kiss on it. "Come here, dear heart, and let me hold you, for I love you and I don't want to let go of you.

Bella's heart soared as she wrapped her arms around him and allowed him to do the same. They remained this way until the end of the movie. As Bella began to feel a bit giddy and a little sleepy, Carlisle changed their positions so that he was cradling her in his arms. He kissed the top of her head several times and wiped the hair back from her face gently. "Rest now, my love. I will not leave your side until you order me away."

Suddenly his words took on a whole new meaning for Bella as she placed a kiss on his muscular shoulder and shyly tucked herself into his embrace and drifted off into a blissful sleep.

In the room across the hall Jasper held Alice and began to smile.

"What is it, Jaz?" Alice was suddenly curious.

"It seems that our hero and heroine have finally found love." Jasper smiled to himself and basked in the loving glow that Bella and Carlisle put off in droves from the other room. Jasper couldn't help but radiate these feelings to Alice who gently kissed him and wrapped herself in his arms.


	7. Mountain Tops

*I in no way shape or form, own these characters, or any rights to the unbelievable fortune that Stephenie Meyer is surely raking in due to the invention of these characters.

*Thanks to all of the very kind reviews and critical, that I have received. I love them all, for the encouragement, as well as the teaching. I love you all!

**Chapter 7**

**Mountain Tops**

Bella awoke the next morning after a night of beautiful dreams, only to realize that she was wrapped in Carlisle's arms and that he was staring intently at her.

"Do you know how breathtaking you are when you sleep, Bella?"

All Bella could think about was her messy hair and her morning breath. Damn being human! She cursed inwardly.

"I hope that I didn't snore." Was all that Bella could manage.

"You don't snore. Well, not that much, anyway." Carlisle looked adoringly at her. It was right at that moment when she realized that his arms were snaked around her waist and was drawing her closer to him. Their faces were getting closer. Quicker than Bella thought humanly possible, she shoved a pillow between them. Carlisle looked ever so slightly put out.

"Human moment?" Bella blushed.

"Aha. I understand. Take all the time you need, dear heart. I have a small outing planned for us today." Carlisle looked like the cat that ate the canary.

Rising from the bed and making her way toward the door to get a fresh pair of clothes, she smiled, feeling slightly seductive. A new feeling for her. "I thought that I was supposed to be resting." She gave him a sultry smile. She could have sworn that she heard him growl softly, or was that a purr?

"Trust me, Bella. I'll do all of the work. All that you have to do is close your eyes and enjoy."

Carlisle's double entendre was not lost on Bella who blushed to the roots of her hair. Truly flustered, she rushed out of the door and shut it firmly behind her. She could hear Carlisle's light laughter on the other side.

Alice met her in the hallway, her normal springy self. "Good morning, little sleepyhead. So you're going to need these today." Alice shoved an armful of folded clothes. Bella took mental note of what lay in the bundle. Black skinny jeans, a turquoise square neck, boucle sweater, the normal underwear, socks and to Bella's delight, a turquoise pair of high top Converse All Stars.

"Oh, Alice! Thank you!" Bella awkwardly hugged her sister.

"Ah ah ah. These," Alice dangled the Converse, "come at a price."

Bella narrowed her eyes at Alice. "Exactly what price would that be?"

Alice looked pleased with herself. "Dish on last night."

Bella sighed. "Oh, Alice. Is nothing sacred with a magic eight ball around?"

"It wasn't me." Alice pouted. "It was Jasper. By the way, thanks for the waves of love that you were sending off last night. It was a very sweet feeling that I got from Jasper last night. I felt, well, cherished."

Bella felt her color rise. "Fine!" She stated grabbing the dangling Converse. Just find a way to get Carlisle out of the room so he doesn't hear my every word."

"That will be hard to do, considering how he seems to be feeling about you, but I think that I can manage that." Suddenly throwing open the door, Alice roared. "Girl time. No boys. Out, you!" Carlisle looked taken aback for a moment, but when he realized that the girls would likely be talking about him, he smiled in Bella's direction, which caused her knees to feel wobbly.

"Alright then. I do have some paperwork from the hospital that needs to be done." He arose and taking Bella's hand in his, kissed it while meeting her eyes. "Until later, Bella." Bella was breathless. She could only manage to lift her head up and down, stupidly. Alice laughed and pushed her in to the bathroom.

Bella opted for a scented bath today, since she and Alice would be talking. She poured a bit of Bath and Body Works, Warm Vanilla Sugar, bubble bath into the tub and watched the steam, dreamily as the tub filled with deliciously scented bubbles. With Alice's back turned, she disrobed and entered the luxuriously hot soaker tub. Buried in bubbles up to her neck, she finally bade Alice to turn around.

"Okay. Now. Where should we begin?" Alice perched herself on the vanity stool and rested her arms on her knees, bending forward.

"Well, you obviously know about the dream?" Alice nodded. "I woke up yesterday feeling as if my heart were healed, yet full of something else. I couldn't get Carlisle off the brain." Bella sighed as she enjoyed the scented heat of the water encompassing her body. I started noticing his eyes. I saw him for the first time in it seemed. Each time that I have asked him not to leave, he has vowed to stay by my side until I ordered him away." Bella smiled to herself. Alice had a wide grin and dreamy eyes. "Last night it took on a new meaning."

"Go on." Alice prompted.

"Well, it happened last night when we were watching Jane Eyre. There was just something happening in the movie that reminded me of the way that I felt about him." Bella didn't want to share every aspect of what happened last night. "To make a long story short, I went out on a limb and told him how I was feeling about him and well, it turns out that he feels the same."

Alice sighed. "I knew it, of course. I'm so glad that you were able to be open with your feelings, Bella. It's about time that you spent less time with Willoughby and more time with Colonel Brandon."

Bella gave Alice a funny look, but found that Alice had indeed cut right to the quick.

"That reminds me." Alice continued. "Sense and Sensibility is tonight's movie feature." She said with a wink. "Now, I'll leave you to your human needs. There's a fresh moisturizing razor for you next to the tub and of course fresh towels. Enjoy and do be careful not to knick yourself, please. We don't want a replay of your birthday." Bella suddenly felt very nervous about shaving. "Kidding, Bella, kidding. I've already seen it and you'll be fine." Bella tried to throw a towel at Alice, but Alice used her vampire speed and was out of the door, slamming it behind her just before the towel hit the door.

Bella took a deep breath and began bathing. Emerging a bit later, she toweled herself off and dressed, looking at herself in the mirror, she sighed. Leave it to Alice to give her such a deep neckline. She looked down to see a glimpse of the swells of her breasts just above the neckline of the sweater, helped out tremendously by the seemingly innocent white satin push up bra. "Oh, well. In for a penny, in for a pound." Bella muttered to herself, feeling an odd sort of confidence take over at the thought of Carlisle seeing her in this outfit. Jitters and an excitement began to take over as she brushed out and blew dry her hair. Glancing down at the curling iron, she felt out of her league. "Rosalie?" Was all that she had to whisper and Rose was there in a heartbeat. Sit down, little sister. I've got you covered.

Rosalie began to curl the ends of Bella's hair, leaving them in ringlets that hung attractively down her back. Rosalie had a slight smirk on her face. "So. You and Dad, huh?"

"Oh, God." Bella blurted out in her discomfort.

"Relax. I like it. Considering that both of you seem to have the same kind hearts and ability to love boundlessly, I think that you deserve each other."

Bella was touched at Rosalie's sentiment. "Aw, Rosalie. Thanks for that."

"No problem, Bella. Now, just let me add a coat of mascara and a touch of lip gloss." Rosalie applied the mascara and to Bella's surprise, her warm brown eyes seemed to shine. Rosalie handed Bella the 'Hint of Blush' lip gloss and Bella applied it, surprised at the final results.

Descending the stairs, she felt pulled toward Carlisle, who waited for her in a casual pair of loose fitting jeans and a button up shirt. She couldn't help herself. She ran to his open arms and enjoyed the feeling of them as he planted a kiss on top of her hair. "Mmm, you smell delightful, Bella."

"Thank you." Bella blushed.

"Well, shall we?" Carlisle held his arm out for her and without a word, she took it and headed out toward the back deck.

"Okay, on my back, now." This reminded Bella of another excursion that she had once took, but this felt so different. She didn't feel like the love sick teenager that she felt like with Edward, but felt like a tenderly cared for woman.

Just then, Carlisle leapt and started at a full run. Bella felt the wind whipping past her face and giggled at the feeling that the plunge of a roller coaster caused in one's stomach. Suddenly they were ascending the foothills and growing closer and closer to the mountains. Reaching the sides of one of the rocks, Bella hid her face as Carlisle deftly climbed the side and just as suddenly as it had begun, it was over. Bella opened her eyes as Carlisle helped her off of his back. She was breathless at what she saw.

Before her stretched the entirety of Forks and La Push. From where she was standing, she could see the baseball clearing and the waterfall that plunged over the cliffs, plus a few more that were hidden within the beginning of the Cascade Mountains.

"Carlisle, this is beautiful!" She breathed, unable to take her eyes away from the scene that lay before her.

"Not as beautiful as what I am looking at right now." She turned to see Carlisle staring tenderly at her. He reached out and barely touched the curls hanging down her back and brushed her face with his fingertips. She closed her eyes, enjoying the touch that she had craved since realizing her feelings for him. Part of her felt shy at the attention, but another felt awakened. "Bella, would you do me the honor of stealing a kiss?"

Bella was taken aback. She had to admit to herself that this is exactly what she wanted at this moment, but Edward had never been able to give her beyond a kiss that would resemble friendship.

"Well, yes, but, can you?"

"What do you mean, can I? I just asked for permission. That is entirely up to you my dear."

"But, well."

"Dear one, don't be afraid to talk to me. Speak your heart. Your heart is safe with me for as long as you wish to entrust it to me. I consider it a gift, Bella." Bella could see that Carlisle deeply felt what he spoke by the look in his eyes.

"Okay." She took each of his cool hands in hers. "It's just that I didn't know that we could, well, kiss." Carlisle gave her a strange look. "Edward never would, I mean, go beyond a peck on the lips and . . .

Carlisle suddenly stopped her words in her throat as he gently cradled her face with both of his hands. He looked into her eyes and saw only awe at what looked back at him in her own. He dipped his head and kissed her softly, but long. He groaned on the inside at how delicate and pristinely Bella kissed him back. Pulling back he looked into her eyes. What he saw there gave him heart. She was smiling and tears were swimming in her eyes. To his surprise, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him back to her, kissing him more in earnest. He allowed himself to be lost in her kiss. Allowing her to take the lead, he patiently let her explore the depth of the kiss. Suddenly, she very shyly, but briefly she flicked out her tongue and touched his bottom lip. Spiraling into this bliss, Carlisle opened his mouth slightly and did the same. Bella opened to him and he began exploring her mouth, tasting her and loving her, everywhere they were connected. He could sense the moment when she became aroused and he himself was as taught as a bowstring. He pulled away a bit, so as not to push the limits at this moment, on a mountaintop. Kissing her softly and more chastely, he looked into her eyes and held her chin. "Now. How was that for a kiss?"

Bella answered by breathing heavily and smiling rapturously. She pulled him to her into an embrace and laid her head on his chest. "Carlisle Cullen, I'm in love with you."

Carlisle felt that his cold heart would melt into a puddle at these words. "As I am with you, Isabella Swan. You are amazing to me. You bring me feelings that I have never felt before in my long existence, but we must take this at a good pace. I don't want to push you, though I am but a man and do have urges."

Bella felt herself color at this statement. "Carlisle, I am but a woman, but I have urges too. Why is it that we feel such a pull toward one another, even after we have been so hurt by others."

"That my dear, is a question that I think best addressed by Alice. Shall we talk with her?"

Bella pulled away from his chest and looked into his eyes. "I would like that." She smiled with all of the joy that she felt in her heart. They stood together on top of the mountain, taking in the views, just enjoying touching one another and answering the call of their hearts to be together. In the distance, Bella could hear thunder.

"We'd best get you home, love. I don't want you catching cold." With that, Carlisle kissed Bella one last time and then helped her onto his back. Once again, Bella enjoyed the ride home. Reaching the Cullen house, he helped her off of his back, but held her hand. They walked into the house to find Emmet and Jasper playing the Xbox and Rosalie calling dibs on the next round of team slayer on Halo Reach.

Alice, however was waiting patiently for them on the sofa in the living room. "Come with me, you two. We can talk more privately in your study, Carlisle." Carlisle appreciated her respect of their privacy and they followed Alice into his study.

After all being seated, Alice took the lead. "I already know what you are going to ask and there is one thing that I will say to begin with. I see you two very happy together." Carlisle and Bella smiled at one another. "I see a variety of things, but some things are better left unsaid. I will say this however, Carlisle. I do not believe that you and Esme were mates. I don't think that anyone's mate could do to you what she did. The same would go for you, Bella." Carlisle and Bella shared pained, but loving glances. "I will say this, however and it has nothing to do with what I've seen. Jasper feels a true bond between the two of you. Carlisle, Bella, I think that you may have found mates in each other." Bella couldn't help herself, she broke down. Carlisle was at her side in a moment.

"Oh, Bella, does this upset you?" The question could possibly bring him a terrible amount of pain and he wasn't sure if he wanted to hear it, but he tilted Bella's face up to look at him. What he saw there, caused his heart to soar. Bella was all smiles beneath those tears. She was crying tears of joy.

"Oh, Carlisle. I cry because nothing makes me happier than to know that we will be connected for all time, like Jane Eyre and Mr. Rochester." Carlisle couldn't help himself. He picked her up and spun her around.

"Then you will be mine, forever?"

"What are you asking me, Carlisle?" Bella's heart pounded in her chest.

"Well, I guess since we know that we are mated, the proper thing to ask you would be, will you marry me? But this is all wrong! You stay here! I'll be back. Don't answer yet!" Carlisle was gone in a flash, leaving Bella and Alice laughing after him.

"I think that we both know what the answer is going to be." Bella laughed, still crying.

Alice ran to Bella and hugged her. "I've already seen it and you're going to love it!"

Bella sat down hard. "Wow, this is all so sudden. Do you think that it's too sudden? Charlie doesn't even know!" Bella felt panicked all of the sudden."

"Calm down, Bella!" Alice laughed. "It's all going to be okay. Trust me." Alice sat down by Bella and hugged her to her, laughing. "You know it was the sweater, right?" Bella slugged Alice in the shoulder and then pulled her hand back. "Ouch!"

"Silly human." Alice teased. "You should know better than to slug a vampire." They both laughed at this. Finally Alice decided to help a fidgety Bella pass the time while Carlisle was gone. They both went downstairs and joined in on Team Slayer, Emmet and Jasper both over zealously trying to teach Bella how to maneuver the Xbox control. It was laughable for all of them, but Bella did love to shoot the grunts and see the streamers fly everywhere with a cheer when she did. The sun was going down and Bella was beginning to get that nervous feeling when Carlisle was not around.

"Where did he go? Paris?" Bella's worry was palpable to Jasper.

"Hey, Bella. It's okay. You're not alone and Carlisle will be back soon. Right, Alice?" Alice suddenly dazed out staring into the future. The surprised look on her face didn't help Bella's nerves, but Alice did confirm. "Yes, he'll be here in about thirteen minutes, but he won't be alone. Bella, Charlie's with him." This sent Bella's anxiety almost over the top.

"What?! What is Charlie doing with him?" Bella was pacing impatiently. "What is Charlie doing with him?"

Alice looked sympathetic, but she could only shrug her shoulders. "I'm sorry, there has been no decision made on Charlie's side, so I can't see why he's following Carlisle's here, but for now, you just need to relax. Everything is going to be okay. Just relax."

"Relax? How am I supposed to do that?" Just then Jasper sent her a strong wave of calm that had her sitting down hard on the sofa. Alice sent him a look of thanks.

"Movie time?" Rosalie suggested.

"There's no time." Alice suddenly said, standing. "They're here." Despite the wave of Jasper's calm, Bella jumped up like she had sat on a tack. She looked desperately at Alice, but it was Rosalie who put a reassuring arm around her shoulders. She was thankful for a comforting soul as the door opened and Carlisle strode in with an unreadable expression on his face, save the warmth in his eyes for Bella and right on his heels, was Charlie, with a very pained and pointed look. Bella looked as if she were going to faint for a second and then she heard Charlie's voice. It was calm and low, but all he said was, "Bells, we need to talk. Now."


	8. A Hint of Eternity

*I in no way shape or form, own these characters, or any rights to the unbelievable fortune that Stephenie Meyer is surely raking in due to the invention of these characters.

*Thanks to all of the very kind reviews and critical, that I have received. I love them all, for the encouragement, as well as the teaching. I love you all!

**Chapter 8**

**A Hint of Eternity**

Charlie took Bella by the elbow and led her straight to the back deck and quickly swiveled around to face her. "Do you mind telling me where this came from?" His eyes were full of concern.

Bella was such a whirl of emotions and thoughts that her head was spinning. "Where what came from, Dad?"

Charlie ran his fingers through his hair and looked puzzled. "Bella, Carlisle Cullen came to me asking for your hand in marriage. Now do you mind telling me what the hell is going on here?"

"Dad, I'm sure that it sounds horrible and I didn't expect him to go to you today, but it's true. I'm in love with him, Dad. What do you want me to tell you?"

"Bella, I want you to tell me how and when did this happen? I mean, what exactly has been going on between you two?" Charlie's face looked older than it ever had.

"Nothing's happened, Dad. Nothing at all. We just realized that we care deeply for each other. I realize that it's sudden, but it's true, Dad. You know me. You know that I don't just jump into things blindly."

Charlie considered this for a moment. "You understand my concern, Bella. Hell, we just got you back from the hell that Edward put you through and now you're in love with Carlisle?"

"I know Dad." Bella, for the first time, went to her Dad and hugged him, fully. Charlie's heart melted at this gesture. "I'm sorry, Dad. I can only imagine how this must look, but Dad, Carlisle really does love me. Look how he's cared for me since the whole Edward thing happened. He's acted selflessly and chivalrously. He is all chivalry, Dad. He has been the perfect gentlemen. Please just try and understand. I know that this is real and I know that he's the one."

Charlie paced back and forth. "How old is he, Bella?"

"He's twenty seven."

"Well, that's younger than I thought at least." Charlie's eyes were focused on a knot in the wood of the deck. "How the hell did he get so rich at twenty seven?"

Bella had to laugh. "Leave it to my Dad, the chief of police to get right down to the nitty gritty. He comes from money, Dad and he has one of the most impressive investment portfolios that I've ever seen, not to mention that he's a surgeon. He practiced at a very prestigious hospital before his family decided to get away from the city and move to Forks." Bella left out the part that he had been alive since the sixteen hundreds and had learned a thing or two about making money.

Charlie stopped suddenly and made eye contact with Bella. "Honey, are you still considering college?"

"Of course I am, Dad. I still want to attend the University of Alaska, but instead of a biology major, I was considering trying to overcome my fear of blood and maybe going pre med."

It was Charlie's turn to laugh. "You, in pre med? If you do that, Bells, I'll pay for your undergraduate. All of it!"

Bella was a bit put out by his tone. "Dad, I want to help people, like Carlisle has helped me. It has changed the way that I look at things. I don't want to just flounder through life in a profession. I want to help people along the way."

This was a profound statement and Charlie stopped short. Bella continued. "You help people every day, Dad. What you do, matters. I want to be like that, too."

"You want to be a police officer?" It was Charlie's turn to crack a joke. This was unexpected for Bella and she giggled and hit Charlie in the shoulder.

"You know what I mean." Bella drove her point home. Charlie stood for a moment, looking out into the woods, his eyes squinting. Bella could see lines forming around his eyes and for the first time, she noticed that he was beginning to go a bit gray at his temples. She swallowed a lump in her throat. She had grown very fond of her Dad over the past year.

"Well, Bells. If this is what is truly going to make you happy, than there's not much I can say. You're eighteen, honey."

"What if I were to say that I wanted your blessing?" Bella's eyes were pleading.

Charlie smiled ever so slightly. "If this is what makes you happy, than you have my blessing, but promise me something?"

"Anything, Dad."

"Make it a long engagement and really think things through. I think that moving in together for a year or so is a good thing for the two of you, maybe even two years. You start to see the fleas on the dog after a while, if you know what I mean."

Bella had to laugh. "I can promise you that, Dad, but Carlisle hasn't even formally asked me to marry him yet."

"He hasn't?" Charlie seemed surprised.

"I think that he was waiting for your blessing, Dad. I told you that he was old fashioned." Bella grabbed her Dad's hand, feeling a surge of love for this man that had been merely a figure on holidays and two months a year, only a year ago.

"Well, then. Let's get inside. It seems that I'm going to have to give you away, twice." Charlie looked pained at this.

"Well, I don't think that he's going to drop on to one knee right now, Dad."

"I know, Bells and frankly, I wouldn't want to see it. I just want him to know that I'm not gonna kill him, or come after him and that well, he has my blessing and all that." Charlie waved his hand around as he spoke. He took a long shuddering breath and let it out slowly. Suddenly in his own act of chivalry, he offered his arm to Bella and side by side they entered the Cullen household.

Carlisle rose from the sofa as they entered. His eyes flashed to Bella, but he stood straight as an arrow, ready to face Charlie. Charlie simply walked over to him and extended his hand. Shaking Carlisle's firmly, he offered one piece of advice. "You take care of her, or I will find you."

" I will, Chief Swan. You have my word, that she will want for nothing, physically or emotionally. I love her."

Charlie just nodded his head and saw himself out. The room was silent for a moment as everyone in the house clearly overheard the entire situation. Alice wasn't at all surprised, as she had a small smile on her lips. Jasper stood with his arm around her, smiling broadly. Rosalie and Emmet stood in complete shock. Bella felt such tension, not knowing how they were going to feel about all of this.

Emmet broke the tension. "Dude, Bella, you're gonna be our new mom!" Rosalie answered this with a quick smack on the back of the head. Emmet winced and looked sheepish for a moment, but was at once again all smiles. Bella looked straight at Rosalie, waiting for her input. She walked up to Bella and looked at her for a moment, then said, "Well I know that I did a good job on your hair and makeup, but I had no idea that I did that good of a job." Suddenly she smiled warmly and wrapped Bella in a tight embrace. "Now you can really be a Cullen. I'm happy for the two of you." She walked over to Carlisle and hugged him as well, planting a kiss on his cheek.

"Well, if you all don't mind, Bella and I would like some alone time to talk things over." Carlisle smiled at all of his children and took Bella by the hand leading her upstairs to her room. The sun was setting and the misting rain was turning into a steady drizzle. Bella could feel her heart pounding in her chest as she kicked off her Converse and settled back against the pillows on her bed. She could feel the fatigue of slight over exertion taking its toll on her.

Carlisle smiled down at her as if the sun set and rose upon her. "We can talk later, sweet Isabella, but you get some rest now." Bella extended her arms to him.

"Stay with me?"

"Until you order me from your side."

"By the way, yes Carlisle."

"Yes to what, Bella?" Confusion creased his brow.

"Yes, I will spend every day of forever with you." Carlisle dropped to one knee. His eyes misted over with unshed tears.

"Oh, my Bella!" He grabbed her hand and kissed it several times. "In that case, would you be willing to wear this?" He pulled out of his jeans pocket a little black box. Bella sat up like a bullet. She couldn't make a sound. So that's where he was part of the time that he was away.

Opening the box, he caused Bella to gasp. Inside of the box was a ring more beautiful than Bella could have dreamed up. It was obviously an antique, set in white gold. Three round diamond solitaires sat atop it, the middle being the largest and large it was. These trailed to a swaging filigree on each side, holding smaller diamonds. Under the largest solitaire was a white gold heart, on each side, making up its setting. Bella put her hand to her mouth as tears began to prick her eyes.

"Carlisle! All of this, for me?"

"Everything for you, dear heart. Past, present and future, Bella. Will you marry me?" Carlisle laughed with a twinkle in his eye. "This is how I should have done it in the first place.

Bella choked on a sob. "Yes¸ yes, and always, yes!" Carlisle slipped the ring on her finger and it fit perfectly. She pulled him up into her arms and onto the bed. Kissing him fervently, he pulled back.

"Now, my Bella, there is time for that later." He laughed with the greatest sparkles of mirth in his golden eyes. "Now you must rest. And if you kiss me like that again, you're going to need your rest." Bella elbowed him in the stomach, which brought an even bigger laugh from Carlisle. He kissed her ear, gently, then trailed light kisses down her neck. Bella's eyes rolled back into her head at the feeling of his cool lips on her heated flesh, unaccustomed to such intimate touches, but he stopped there. Tucking her in close to him, he whispered into her hair. "Rest now, my love. Stay well. I'll be right here and when you wake up, I want to see you eat more than just chips and hummus for dinner, tonight. I want to see you eat a full meal, is that understood?" He used his most clinical voice.

"Yes, Doctor Cullen." Bella answered saucily. She was quiet for a while and felt the pink rise into her cheeks at her thought, but she voiced it anyway. "Perhaps if I am a good patient, then maybe you could give me a thorough check up later tonight?"

"Why Miss Swan!" Carlisle feigned his most shocked voice. "Are you propositioning me?"

"And if I was?" Bella smiled into her pillow.

"Oh, if the patient is willing, then the doctor is willing to see to any concerns that said patient may have." Bella could feel him smiling into her neck. She let out a shuddering breath at the feeling of his cool breath on her neck, thinking of unexplored pleasures to come and then let herself drift away into a sleep full of wonderful dreams.

Bella woke, rather confused for a moment to the crashing of thunder and the blinding streaks of lightning. The sounds of sheeting rain swept against the windows, then she felt him beside her.

"Did you rest well, love?" Carlisle asked, almost a whisper.

Bella rolled over to face him. Smiling, she traced the lines of his face and leaned in to place a kiss on his perfect chin.

"Now, now, Miss Swan. You promised me dinner first. First thing's first." Carlisle was teasing her.

"Well, perhaps, Mr. Cullen, you would permit me a bath after dinner before we retire for the night?" She would play his game.

"I think that could be arranged. Now have your human moment and I will meet you in the kitchen.

Bella arose and headed for the bathroom. She tried to make sense of her tousled curls and brushed her teeth. As she descended the stairs, the most wonderful smell assaulted her senses. It smelled like sautéed mushrooms. She loved mushrooms. Approaching the kitchen, Carlisle's eyes lit up just seeing her enter the room. Truly it was a strange feeling to miss one another after a few short moments, but they did.

"Mmm, smells good. What is it?" Bella sat herself down on a stool at the breakfast bar.

"A grilled and marinated Portobello Mushroom Steak, served over sautéed spinach, then topped with smoked provolone cheese and broiled for a bit."

Bella was speechless. "Carlisle, you spoil me! How did you know that I preferred vegetarian food to meat?"

"Call it a hunch, Bella, but I think that you fit in with us better than you could ever imagine." His eyes twinkled at her and she smiled widely back. Just then, the track lighting over the kitchen caused her diamond ring to cause a similar effect of dancing light in the room, as Carlisle's skin did in the sun. She quickly looked at her ring finger and for the third time that day, she felt tears trailing their way down her face, with joy. Carlisle quickly sat her plate in the oven to broil and was behind her, holding her as she let the tears slip down her face. "What is it, dear heart?" His voice was soft and soothing, like a caress against the back of her neck.

"This is just so much happiness all at once, Carlisle. This is what happiness is supposed to be like. I never realized it when I was with you, nor did I consider it possible for me, you've just come in and changed my world. I love you so much." Bella was wiping at her face now.

Carlisle just held onto her for a moment. "Isabella Marie Swan, have you any idea what I am feeling right now? I have lived almost four hundred years and have never known happiness, true happiness, until you came dancing into my lonely existence. You are everything to me and you always will be. Now, my beloved, eat your dinner and we will talk more after, but I will not have you losing any more weight, my darling. You must eat. He kissed the back of her neck and once again pulled a handkerchief out of his sleeve, wiping the tears from her red face. Tipping her chin up and smiling at her, he waited until she smiled back, with all of the joy that she carried inside, then he went to remove her plate from the broiler. The cheese on the Portobello mushroom was bubbly and crispy with a bacon like smell. Bella's mouth watered as the scent assaulted her senses.

The dinner that Carlisle had prepared was absolutely meticulous. It was as if a five star chef had prepared it. Bella hadn't felt very hungry until she started digging into it, but with each bite, she felt her appetite grow. Before she knew it, it was gone. Sitting at the breakfast bar, she knew what she wanted for desert. She was nervous about playing the role of the seductress, but her body told her otherwise, just being close to him. Looking at Carlisle, she excused herself to the shower.

"Will you wait for me in the bedroom?" She blushed, demurely.

"Of course I will, love." Carlisle smiled sweetly at her and they walked hand in hand to the bedroom door. Carlisle made his way in, but Bella was stopped by Alice's voice. "Bella." She stage whispered.

Bella turned around and closed the bedroom door. "Yeah?"

"Will you be needing clothes for after your shower?" Alice looked at her suspiciously.

"I don't plan on needing them, but while I'm in there, why don't you just stock my drawers with whatever you've got for me and then don't dawdle." Alice's eyes got wide, as did her smile and then her lips formed a perfect 'O'.

"Gotcha. Hey, do you want to talk, you know, before?"

"Nope, I've got a medical professional for that, in my bedroom right now." Bella whispered back. They both giggled as Alice left to gather up Bella's clothes. Bella entered her room to find Carlisle leisurely reclining on the bed. Wow, he looked good enough to eat in his jeans and button up shirt. Bella closed the door and leaned on it, taking in the view. Carlisle looked at her, suspiciously, with an obvious smirk on his face, but Bella smiled her most innocent smile and went into the bathroom, closed the door and turned on the shower. She took extra time bathing, shaving and moisturizing. Her heart rate sped up with the excitement of what she was about to do, which didn't escape Carlisle's notice as he laid on the bed channel surfing. This didn't do much to make him comfortable as his body automatically begin to respond to the thought of what he knew that Bella was planning. He felt like the most privileged and blessed man in the world to be the first and only man to be seduced by Bella Swan. The thought made his jeans almost unbearably tight. He quickly adjusted himself, but that didn't help much. There was a knock at the bedroom door and Carlisle groaned a bit and threw the comforter over himself. Alice walked in with an arm load of clothes.

"Bella wanted me to put these away in her drawers for her." Alice had the most wicked grin on her face. Carlisle was utterly silent and uncomfortable as his mind kept wandering the sound of the shower rushing over his beautiful Bella's body. Alice had just put the last of the huge order of clothes that she had bought for Bella and exited the room when suddenly, the bathroom door opened, steam escaping from Bella's long hot shower. Bella emerged and his mouth went dry. She was wrapped only in a towel, skin still glistening with the moisture from her shower and her wet hair, brushed smooth and cascading down to her backside. He pushed himself up to a sitting position and realized that he could only stare in wonderment. Sure he and Esme had been together for nearly seventy years, but Esme had been his first and nothing could have ever prepared him for what was walking toward him now.

Bella reached his side of the bed and stood and stared at him for a moment, with a blush as she bit her bottom lip. Without a word, she crawled up onto the bed next to him and innocently began to kiss him. Immediately it was as if a fire had been ignited between them. Bella responded to his willingness to be with her in such an intimate way. His touch was ice to her fire. They deepened their kiss and a groan erupted from Carlisle's throat. Pulling back, he touched the top of Bella's towel, where it was tucked in and grazed the tops of her breasts, gently. She immediately arched against his fingers and moaned, then immediately blushed at the sound that had escaped from her lips. Carlisle pulled her against him until they were touching from lips to toes. "Don't ever be ashamed of what sounds the passion of my touch brings to your throat, Bella. Each is such a gift to me." She looked hungrily into his eyes. He touched her face, brushing his fingers down and across her collar bone. When he reached the top of her towel once again, he stopped and made eye contact with her. "Bella, are you sure?" She nodded her approval, through her panting. She had never been touched in such a way and she wanted more. "Then I want you to know that this is a gift, greater than anyone has ever given me and I will cherish you for all eternity, my love. He gently untucked the towel and began to open it.

"Wait!" She startled him and he pulled away for a moment. "Fairs is fair." She stated, rather frankly, and gave him a very heated glance as she untucked his shirt from his pants and ripped the front open, scattering the buttons everywhere. "I want . . . I want . . ."

"What do you want, Isabella?" Carlisle breathed against her neck, then sucked in a breath as he felt her small hands rubbing his chest and raking down across his rippled stomach.

"I want to feel your skin against mine. I want to see you too." Bella breathed. Carlisle nodded and allowed her to unbutton his jeans, unzipping them. Her fingers grazed his cock and it leapt at the feel of her innocent fingers as the drifted past. She pushed his jeans down his hips and he pulled them the rest of the way down and then it was his turn.

Once again seeking permission, Bella nodded and he pulled the top of her towel loose and opened it, her still moist skin, bare to his eyes. He nearly lost it right there. "My God, Bella, you are so very perfect." His tongue deftly took on a mind of its own as it darted and caught a drop of water that ran down her collar bone. Bella squirmed and moaned his name as she reached up and curled her fingers through his hair.

"Carlisle." She was breathing heavily.

"Yes, my love." Carlisle's hand traced down the curve of her body, from the side of her breast, to her hip.

"I want to be yours in every way. I want you to be my first and my last. Will you do that for me? Will you make love to me?"

"Yes, anything that you ask of me, my love."

"Carlisle, I don't really know what I'm doing here, but I know that whatever you're doing, feels heavenly. Just tell me what to do." Bella suddenly felt a bit flustered and in over her head, but oh how she wanted this.

"This time, dear heart, just trust me and only touch when you want to touch. Search where you want to search. Let me do the work and I promise you that I will bring you pleasure, Bella, but you do know that it will hurt at first."

Bella nodded her head at this.

"I will try and ease the pain of your virginity as best as I can, before we start, my love, but for now, just relax and let me make love to you. Bella laid back and lost herself in the bliss that was his every touch. The backs of his fingers brushed against her nipple and she felt like she would explode right there, but she truly had no idea what bliss was like, until he fastened his lips around her other nipple, lightly suckling it with his tongue. She couldn't stop the moan that escaped her throat. "God, Carlisle. I feel like I am going to burst into flames."

"Burst, my darling. I will hold you no matter what, but I promise you even greater pleasure. His hand slid slowly down her stomach, brushing and swirling, over her mound and inside of one of her thighs. At first she felt a bit shy at this until his hand slid against her core and then all thought of shyness disappeared as a wave of lust swept over her. Gently he traced the line of her slit with his finger. "Bella Mia, you are so wet, so very sweet, my love. You are so beautiful." Bella's eyes rolled back into her head when one of his fingers protruded past her slit and into her warmth. His thumb began making a gentle circling motion over an area that was especially sensitive as he entered a finger inside of her and slid it in and out. She couldn't keep her hips from bucking off of the bed as she moaned his name. He caught her moan with his kiss and continued his ministrations. Just as he felt her walls tightening, his thumb slowed down, once again and brought her down a bit. "Not yet, my darling. Patience." As he said this, he began a new assault against her sensitive nub and entered a second finger into her, then a third. He reached her barrier and began to stretch it slowly, trying to make the discomfort as slight as possible, while giving her pleasure. Bella felt a bit of a pinch inside of her. "Are you ready for me to make you ready for me, my darling?" His thumb circled even faster and harder causing her hips to buck once again.

"Yes!" She screamed, so close to falling apart. Just then his fingers sunk deeper into her, causing a momentary pinch, but quickly the feeling of pain gave way to intense pleasure. Bella could feel a rush of warmth and slippery moisture between her thighs. She almost cried when he stopped and pulled his fingers out of her. "There, now, the pain is over, my brave Bella." He kissed her with a fiery passion as she began to slide his boxer briefs over his hips. She was losing herself, once again to the passion of his kiss. Her fingers brushed against his bare cock this time, but she pulled her hand back, in embarrassment. Instead she placed her hands around his neck and they locked eyes and stared into one another's eyes as Carlisle brushed his hand along the inside of her thigh, relaxing it. "Open to me, my Bella. I will give you pleasure, my love." She could see truth in his words. Slowly, she spread open her thighs and nearly groaned when she felt him poised at her core.

"Yes, Carlisle. Oh, yes." She breathed as he teased her with the head of his cock. Just as he had her panting, he pushed the head in, causing her to gasp. "More, love, please?" She begged and it was nearly his undoing. She wanted to feel full of him. Slowly, he inched his way in, until gradually he was sheathed inside of her. Both of them moaned into each other's mouths at the feeling of completion.

"My Bella. This is a gift that I will forever cherish. He wiped the wet tendrils back from her face and nearly cried with her beauty and the closeness that he felt. The unworthiness of being her first. He gently pulled out and then reentered her, causing her to moan, once again. Building a rhythm, she was already close. She grabbed the sheets on each side of them and knotted them in her hands as his rhythm built. Finally she could take no more.

"Carlisle, I think that I'm about to . . . . would you do it with me?" She was so innocent. Carlisle could only nod as he thrust three more times and Bella cried a keening wail as she came and her walls convulsed around him, bringing him right along with her. He brought her down, gently and then rested his head on her glorious chest, while he rested most of his weight on his arms to keep from crushing her. Sliding his way up her body, he looked into her eyes. "Bella, I will work on bringing pleasure to you for the rest of forever, but I want you to know something."

Bella was still fuzzy headed with the bliss of her first orgasm as she held Carlisle to her. "What is that Carlisle?"

"There was nobody before Esme, and, well, I can honestly say that this is the first time that I can really understand what making love truly means. I have never felt for anyone like I feel for you and I want to show you that love again and again." Bella leaned up on her arms, looking straight at him. He pulled back again, rolling onto his side and pulling her to him. Blissfully, he breathed in the scent of her hair and felt as if he could fall down and worship at her feet.

"What do you mean by it was the first time making love?" Bella was curious.

"I mean that when a mated couple does what we just did together, that it solidifies a bond. I have never felt so connected, physically and spiritually with anyone in my existence. You are my everything. You are my reason for existing, now."

Bella smiled to herself as she flipped over onto her other side and allowed her back to fit perfectly into Carlisle's body, wrapped in his arms. Her eyelids were getting heavy with the exertion of the earth shattering experience that she had just had. Just as she was drifting into a sleepy state, she asked him, "Carlisle?"

"Yes, my love." He kissed the back of her neck, cherishing the very feel of her, still marveling in her existence.

"I still want to be changed and I want you to do it for me after graduation. I want forever to start as soon as possible." Carlisle paused for a moment. Changing her had slipped his mind.

"Are you sure that you want to be changed so soon?"

Bella was drifting off. In a sleepy voice she replied, "I want to be mated to you in every way. I want to tear down houses with you. I want to be like you and with you forever." Bella finally succumbed to her sleep. Carlisle lay, holding her, thinking as he heard her breathing even out. He wanted her to be with him always, but the thought of causing her so much pain with the change, was almost too much for him to think about. Blinking back tears that he would never shed, he tried not to think about that fated day, because he knew that he couldn't live without the treasure that he held with such tenderness, lying next to him.


	9. Small Victories

*I in no way shape or form, own these characters, or any rights to the unbelievable fortune that Stephenie Meyer is surely raking in due to the invention of these characters.

*Thanks to all of the very kind reviews and critical, that I have received. I love them all, for the encouragement, as well as the teaching. I love you all!

**Chapter 8**

**Small Victories**

Bella awoke the next morning feeling deliciously sore. She nearly purred as she pushed back against Carlisle's solid form. He brushed the hair from the back of her neck and kissed its side, causing Bella to sigh. "Sweetheart, I must leave you for a few hours."

"What?" Bella sat up in the bed, the sheet wrapped around her chest. She felt alarmed at the thought of separation from Carlisle.

"I am sorry, Bella, but we all have to hunt and you, well, while we're gone, I need you to put these sheets in the wash and bleach them. Your blood is on them and I must see you safe, my love. I wish that I could stay here with you forever, but I will see you safe first." Bella looked down at the sheets that they had made love on the night before and realized that when Carlisle had stretched her, preparing her for his entrance, that she had indeed, bled on the sheets. She colored deeply and felt a rush of embarrassment.

"Bella, honey, there is absolutely no reason for your shyness. "This," he beckoned to the blood on the sheet, "is the symbol of the most beautiful moments of my existence." He kissed her forehead and then her lips. She suddenly felt a bit less self conscious and managed a smile at him.

"Thank you, Carlisle." She mumbled.

"I love you, Bella. We will be back before you know it, but I must get everyone out of the house. Heck, I'll probably be back in less than an hour, but please do as I say, so as to save anyone in the house from discomfort, okay?" Bella nodded her head in full understanding. As Carlisle rose to leave, he bent and kissed Bella deeply, once again taking her breath away. With a caress to her face, he walked out of what was now, their bedroom and joined the rest of the family in preparation of the hunt. As soon as Bella knew that they had all left, she quickly pulled on a pair of sweats and a black tank top. Stripping the bed, she carried the wadded sheets to the washer and set it to hot, stuffing the sheets in and adding a cup of bleach, plus laundry and fabric softener. That being done, she hurried upstairs and stepped into the shower.

As they water cascaded over her body, she closed her eyes and leaned against the shower wall and allowed her mind to travel back to the night before. To the way that Carlisle's gentle hands felt on her skin. To each kiss and to the act itself. It was everything that she had always hoped that it would be and more. After bathing and washing her hair, she stepped from the shower and brushed her teeth, looking at herself in the mirror. Somehow, she looked different to herself. "Bella Swan, you had sex!" She smiled to herself in the mirror. She giggled at her own antics and went to her drawer, opening and closing them, finally she opened one, with a little note, written in a perfect hand.

_Bella Mia, My Bella,_

_You must rest today, please._ _ Last night was the most beautiful of all of the nights of my life. I am afraid, however, that we spent much of your precious energy, though I can't say that I will ever regret it. But for now, my dearest love, please dress comfortably and rest. I will be back before you know it. _

_With all of my love,_

_Carlisle._

Bella smiled to herself and smelled the parchment that the note had been written on. She looked in the drawer below the note and noticed that it was her pajama drawer. Of course, Alice had given her little choice here. Choosing a pair of silk pajamas which consisted of a cap sleeve, lavender top and boxer style bottoms, she dressed herself and pulled out of the drawer, with some relief, the matching robe. She had to admit that the satin felt luxurious against her skin. It was as if her body were opened to new senses since last night's experiences. She tied the robe around herself and headed to the linen closet in her bathroom and pulled a clean set of fluffy flannel sheets out and made her bed. Carlisle had been right, however. After such a small amount of exertion, she felt nearly drained. She popped Sense and Sensibility into her new DVD player and climbed into the bed to rest, while watching.

Within the hour, Carlisle was back, bringing her a handful of Camellias, wrapped in a lavender ribbon, to form a small bouquet. She was very touched by the gesture and accepted them with a kiss. "Now, dear heart, my goddess," he teased, " I have had my breakfast. It is time for yours. I will be up in just a few minutes with something for you to eat."

"Carlisle, please don't leave again?" Bella was already feeling the pull that a mate does when separated from the other. Carlisle went to argue that she needed to eat, but was interrupted by a knock at the door. Carlisle smiled and rolled his eyes. "Come in!" He shouted, after making sure that his Bella was properly covered. Alice, wearing the smile of a minx, popped her head in the door.

"I didn't mean to overhear, but, since I did, allow me to make breakfast for Bella and you stay here, Carlisle."

Carlisle smiled appreciatively at his daughter. "That is very considerate of you, Alice."

"Carlisle, I remember what it was like in the beginning. Just allow me to do this and you all spend as much time as you like together. You have only this week before it's on with school for Bella."

Bella's heart warmed over with Alice's thoughtfulness. "Thank you, Alice!" Bella beamed at her.

"No prob, sis. Is there anything in particular that you would like to eat?" Alice raised her eyebrows in question.

"Surprise me, Alice. I don't think that I could be unhappy right now, if you brought me a mud pie." Bella grinned deliriously at Carlisle as she patted the bed next to her and he was drawn toward her as if pulled by a rope.

Alice smiled at the picture of happiness that they were. She had never seen Carlisle so happy and she felt that she was blessed to witness him so.

"Fine. You two, just watch your movie and I'll be up in a jiff." She left them cuddled together on the bed, just as the first strains of the piano concerto of the Sense and Sensibility soundtrack came floating over the surround sound system of Bella's new flat screen and entertainment system.

They cuddled and touched, in their own private paradise and even caught a few scenes of the movie. Suddenly, something stood out to Bella. The very same sonnet that was Carlisle's favorite was featured in the movie between Maryanne Dashwood and Willoughby. Number 116, Bella remembered.

She thought about how grieved she had been at the comparison of what she and Edward had had, to what Shakespeare's sketch of what true love was. She looked at Carlisle with new eyes. This is what they had. They didn't seek to change each other, nor did he withhold anything from her. She knew at that moment that she would never face anything alone, ever again, but that they would face the future together, without flinching.

"Carlisle?" He was rubbing circles on her back, enjoying the movie.

"What will it be like when I am changed, I mean, for us?"

Carlisle thought about this for a moment. "I can't say that anything will change with our feelings for each other, except that you may feel a change in the bond. When we mate, both as vampires, that mating will be something primal, in all manners of speaking. From our protectiveness of one another, to our making love."

"How will making love be different?" Bella was truly curious now.

"Well, you will be nearly indestructible for one. Passion runs very deep among mated vampire pairs. We tend to bite, leaving our marks on one another as sort of our own wedding rings. It signals to others that we are taken."

This thought seemed strange, yet exciting to a curious Bella. Carlisle continued.

"There will also be an almost telepathic bond to one another. Not in the sense that we will be able to truly read each other's thoughts, but that we will almost know, instinctively what the other is feeling."

Bella was thoughtful for a moment. "I told Charlie that I wanted to go to the University of Alaska next fall."

Carlisle sat up on his elbow and listened intently to Bella.

"I was kind of wondering, well, I don't know." Bella felt shy all of the sudden for what she was about to ask of him.

Carlisle caught her line of vision, his face was deeply serious, his eyes full of boundless depths. "Bella, you have only to ask."

Bella blushed a bit. "Well, I was wondering if we could all move away and that you could change me. I could spend that year, sequestered away from many humans and learning how to control myself." Carlisle nodded that he was following.

"It brings me much joy to know that you want to go through the change, Bella. Do you understand, though? Has anyone told you of how painful it is?" Carlisle was filled with concern. Half of him didn't want her to go through the pain and half of him was terrified that he would scare her away from it, but he would not withhold the truth from her.

"Rosalie had told me a bit about it, when I first met you all. She said that it was like a fire consuming you, yet you wouldn't die or pass out because of the pain and that it lasted about three days for her."

Carlisle listened closely, inwardly cringing about the thought of Bella having to go through that. "Knowing all of that, you would still want to be changed?"

"Carlisle, when I said that I would do anything to be with you for eternity, I meant that I would go through hell itself. I will gladly go through three days of it. I mean, I don't look forward to the pain, but I will go through with it and I want to."

Carlisle couldn't help but feel heartened at her words. "Then if you wish to be turned, I suggest this. That we tell Charlie that all of your mail be forwarded to our house in British Columbia. It is the most remote of all of our properties and still far enough from the Alaskan shadows of our pasts. We can tell him that you pick up your mail on long weekend flights to our house and on holidays."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea!" Bella was growing excited with the planning. "There's one more thing and this is going to sound impossible, Carlisle, but I really want to do this."

"Just say it, Bella. You can do anything that you like."

"Instead of being a Biology major, I want to go Pre Med." The look on Carlisle's face was priceless.

"I see. Well, that is a tall order, Bella." He tried to comfort her wounded look with an explanation. "You see, it has taken me years to build up my resistance against human blood."

"Carlisle, with you, I feel that I can do anything. You make me feel that anything is possible, as long as you are in my corner. I want to help people, just as you do, with my life. Not just sit in a lab all day. Besides, who knows what I'll be capable of once I'm turned. I know that it will be difficult, but if you can do it, than I know that I can do it too. I have confidence in us."

By the time that she finished speaking, Carlisle could not hide the enormous grin on his face. "Oh, Isabella. You make me feel as if I could fly. Let's take this one step at a time. Let's get you changed and after your change, well then we'll see how you adapt to our diet. If all goes well, than I trust that with your heart's boundless ability to love, that you truly could do anything, so yes, I'm in your corner. Not only that, but I am excited for the possibility of having my mate, share my passion. You have no idea what that would mean to me." Carlisle kissed her quickly, but Bella caught him around the neck and deepened the kiss. Just as the fire was beginning to rage out of control and she felt that she was gaining confidence enough to try something that she had thought of in the shower that morning, there was a knock at the door. Was that a growl she heard come out of Carlisle's chest? He seemed very perturbed, but finally answered. "Come in!" He looked positively put out. However, when he saw that it was Alice with strawberry waffles, orange juice and coffee, his countenance lightened. "Ah, my love's breakfast has arrived. You need your nourishment." He bent low and whispered in Bella's ear. "Your going to need the energy, darling. We must get your strength built back up."

Bella blushed deeply, but couldn't stop the smile from spreading across her face. Alice knew that two was company and three was a crowd, so with a smile, she excused herself and left the love birds in peace. Bella ate with a gusto that pleased Carlisle as they sat and watched the rest of the movie. Bella felt herself teary eyed at the end as Colonel Brandon read to Maryanne Dashwood, softly out of the Sonnets as she sat enjoying his company. Everything would be alright for her, she had found her true love. It overwhelmed Bella with emotion that she identified with Maryanne Dashwood's character so much more at that stage of the story, than she ever had before. Edward had been her Willoughby and Carlisle was her Colonel Brandon. Soft spoken, giving, kind, and eternally hers.

She reached for Carlisle and kissed him, feeling more empowered with the knowledge that she had gained during their love making. Carlisle moaned as she opened her mouth to him and their tongues danced, mimicking what their bodies longed to do. Bella laid back and pulled him on top of her, but he suddenly pulled away. She looked shocked at the loss of contact.

"Bella, honey. We must allow you to heal a bit before doing this again." Bella could almost feel her body language visibly pouting.

"Don't do that, sweetheart. You've only just come out of the woods, so to speak. I want you to rest. We have all of eternity for passion, my dear. I promise you that." He kissed her, lightly. Bella moaned, but understood that she was in fact supposed to be resting.

"Maybe after a week, then? If I'm strong enough to study and graduate then I should be strong enough for this." Brazenly, she reached out and stroked Carlisle with her hand. He let out a hiss at the friction that her hand was causing.

"Now, that's not fair, my Bella. Play fair, dearest and I promise you a pleasure beyond that that you have yet known. But only if you are a good girl and rest for the rest of the week. Doctor's orders." Carlisle tried to act as stern as he possibly could, but in the end, the corners of his mouth twitched. Bella plopped back onto her pillows.

"Fine. If it's Doctor's orders, I suppose I can't argue with that, but know that I intend upon punishing you, in the meantime, Carlisle." Carlisle's eyebrow shot up at this.

"Oh you do, do you? And how do you suppose that you're going to do that?"

"You'll just have to wait and see, won't you?" Bella spoke each syllable slowly and breathily, clearly causing an inner turmoil in Carlisle. "Now, since I'm supposed to be resting, would you mind putting in the first disc of Pride and Prejudice for me?" Bella gave her sweetest smile. Carlisle laughed aloud.

"You have only to ask, dear one. I am your servant." With this, he jumped off the bed and gave a low courtly bow, causing Bella to laugh at him. Her laughter was like music to his ears. And so they settled in together to watch all seven discs of Pride and Prejudice. As Carlisle rubbed her satin clad back, he rolled his eyes. This was truly going to be a very long week.

Thursday rolled around and Bella's books finally arrived for her Washington State K-12 online schooling. She laughed to herself that most of these courses were courses that she was already beyond at Forks High. The good thing about online schooling through the public school system, was that they would test you in your first couple of days to see where you were in your education. Bella was hopeful that she wouldn't have many more credits to accomplish.

That evening as she readied herself for bed, she excused herself politely from the entertainment room to go take a shower in readiness for bed. She climbed the stairs and entered her bedroom, then her bathroom. Turning on the water, she smiled to herself as she heard the bedroom door open and close and the flat screen turn on. Carlisle had followed her. "Let the torture commence." She thought wickedly to herself as she took her time in the shower, exploring the areas that Carlisle had seemed to find with his own fingers, during their lovemaking. To her amazement she learned that by touching herself in those areas, that she could bring about a less passionate, but similar reaction that his touches did. As she continued her explorations she began panting, now sitting in the shower stall with her knees apart. She found the tiny little nub that seemed to be a cluster of nerves and rubbed it in circles, gently. Feeling like she was nearing her crest, a thought occurred to her. That Carlisle could hear every heartbeat, every heavy breath of hers as she touched herself. This sent her careening over the edge of her second orgasm of her life. She sat, limp, panting in the shower for a moment. It certainly was nothing compared to the real thing, but she found a much needed release in it and she reveled in the idea that Carlisle was forced to listen to the whole escapade.

Finishing bathing, she stepped from the shower and wrapped herself in a towel. She brushed her teeth and blow dried her hair and then brazenly executed her plan. Bella had decided that she had rested enough for the week. As demurely and innocently as she could, she exited the bathroom in her towel, fumbling through her pajama drawer, all the while, aware of Carlisle's heated stare upon her. Finding a thin white cami and a pair of flannel boxers, she walked to the bed and laid them out. Looking up at Carlisle, who was obviously affected by her show as the blanket over the top of his lap pitched a very obvious tent, she let her towel fall to the ground, giving him a wicked stare. Carefully, she stepped into a pair of black satin and lace underwear, pulling them on slowly. Then she reached for her thin white cami, pulling it over her head and allowing it to fit clinging to her pert breasts, then, with just a small but devilish smirk at Carlisle, she slid on her plaid boxers, climbed into the bed and rested against him as if nothing had happened.

"Oh, Isabella. You shouldn't have done that." Carlisle's voice was hoarse.

"Done what?" She asked, all innocence."

Suddenly she found herself pinned beneath him. "You are a very bad girl and bad girls get their just deserts."

"But, Carlisle, you said that I had to rest a full week. That is only two days away." She feigned reproach at his need for her."

"Two days, be damned." Carlisle said as he captured her mouth in a demanding kiss that caused her to instantly feel heat pool and throb in her core. Oh, yes. It seemed that her plan had indeed worked and to her advantage.

**So, I know that this chapter was a lot of fluff, but fluff is good when you are reading about Carlisle and Bella. Right? Let me know what you think. **


	10. The Graduate

*I in no way shape or form, own these characters, or any rights to the unbelievable fortune that Stephenie Meyer is surely raking in due to the invention of these characters.

*Thanks to all of the very kind reviews and critical, that I have received. I love them all, for the encouragement, as well as the teaching. I love you all!

**Chapter 9**

**The Graduate**

Bella kissed Carlisle back with all of the pent up passion that she carried. His hand crept up the bottom of her shirt, splaying his hand on her flat stomach. His touch was heaven. He licked the side of her neck, which sent shivers through her body, as she ached for him, already. He whispered to her, mouth only centimeters from her ear. "You have managed to break the resolve of a vampire who has learned to work around human blood, my dear. For this amazing feet, I'll shall show you something new." Bella only nodded, her eyes hooded with lust.

Helping her pull her tank top over her head, he gasped at the sight of the white satin push up bra that she wore underneath. His fingers ghosted across the tops of her breath as he gently pulled the cups down, just far enough for her nipples to be exposed. Using his thumbs, he began to massage them, causing an Bella to throw her head back in ecstasy. Before long, she began unbuttoning his shirt and wanted to explore. Carlisle could sense this, so he sat very still as her hands glided over the hard muscle of his pecks, over ridges of muscle in his back, his biceps and then down toward his abdomen. She could feel his abdomen tremble as her fingers grazed lower and lower. Bending forward, she placed open mouthed kisses along his collar bone and his neck.

"Oh, Bella. You have no idea what you're doing to me." Carlisle's voice sounded hoarse with emotion.

"I would like to try something." Bella truly blushed as she dared share her needs with him.

"What is it, my love?" Carlisle was nearly dizzy with the scent of her arousal.

"I want to touch you. I want to feel you in my hand." This innocently put statement, caused a surge of lust in Carlisle. He nodded as he unbuttoned his jeans and slid them off of his hips and with a heated stare at Bella's eagerly awaiting eyes, he removed his boxer briefs. Bella's eye grew wide as he sprang forth. Every so delicately, deeply blushing, she tentatively reach her fingers toward his member and barely touched him. His cocked jumped in response.

"Oh! Did I hurt you, Carlisle?" Bella looked so unsure of herself.

"No, Bella Mia. It was pleasure that caused that reaction. Your touch is like electricity to me." He was talking through gritted teeth. He would have to reign in his passion if this was going to last. Finally Bella gathered all of her courage and took him into her hand, rubbing him up and down. She gasped in amazement. "It like silk over steel." She breathed. She rubbed him a few times more and he put his hand over hers.

"If I am going to last much longer, Bella, you must stop, now. Your hands feel too good." Bella felt a surge of pride that she had caused such a reaction in Carlisle.

"Then if you don't mind, I'd like to try one other thing."Bella bit her bottom lip, causing Carlisle to groan with need at the sight of her.

"We can try whatever you want." He was trying to think about everything in the world, besides his innocent, yet mind blowing lover touching him.

Bella gently pushed him backward onto the bed as she shimmied out of her boxers and black underwear. She blushed a bit under his stare, but straddled him, taking him again in her hand and rubbing him against her coar.

"God, Bella! Honey, I can't take much more!" Carlisle pleaded.

Gently she sheathed herself on him, taking him in ever so slowly, until she felt that she was completely filled. Immediately the nerves that she had found earlier in the shower, seemed awake all at once and as she moved up and down ever so slowly, Carlisle sat up a bit and took her nipple into his mouth, flicking his tongue over and over it, causing Bella to almost roar with pleasure. She rode him for just a second more, before she found her walls spasming around him, causing sparks to fly behind her closed eyes. She wailed with her head thrown back at the sensation that washed over her.

"That's it, my Bella, come for me, sweet heart." Carlisle grabbed ahold of her and angled her hips slightly, helping her with the thrusts. It seemed that the angle touched a new spot inside of her that felt like it was winding tight. Bella's breathing became labored and the Carlisle reached down between her legs and began rubbing her sensitive nub. Bella shattered into a million pieces, screaming out the most intense pleasure that she had ever experienced before in her life. Vaguely, she could hear Carlisle yelling out her name as he fell over the edge as well, spilling his cold seed inside of her, causing Bella to come once more.

Exhausted with pleasures unimaginable, she flopped down on Carlisle's chest while he held her tightly to him, whispering sweet words into her hair.

She didn't want to, but she could feel her eye growing heavier. Stretching her neck, she kissed Carlisle tenderly on the lips, she whispered, "That was amazing. You make me feel amazing and beautiful. Thank you, Carlisle. I love you."

As I love you, my dearest, sexiest, Bella." Carlisle was blindsided by the force by which his orgasm hit him. As Bella's breathing began to regulate into the sounds of sleep, he lay amazed. Truly, if this was mating, than he thanked God for sending him Bella. As he came, he could feel a connection with her, as if he were feeling what both she and he were feeling at the same time. Gathering Bella closer to him, he held her tight, all throughout the night, just listening to her breath. Soon, that would be a sound that he would no longer hear of her, but oh, if passion was this amazing with her as a human, his head spun with the thought of passion with her as a vampire.

He began making plans to reopen the hose in Northern British Columbia. Joy filled him as he thought about the experiences to come with his mate, the love of his life, Bella. The future Mrs. Cullen.

Monday rolled around and Bella was allowed out of bed and began testing for her schooling, online. She could have sat anywhere, but found that anywhere in the house was too loud, so instead, she sat in Carlisle's study in companionable silence with him as he did hospital paperwork. The testing seemed to be going by fairly quickly. By four o'clock, she realized that she was nearly done with what should have taken two days. She finished altogether around six, her stomach grumbling, giving away that indeed, her appetite had returned. Blushing, but smiling, she knew that she needn't say anything as Carlisle's vampire ears had picked up on it.

"Let's get some food into you, Bella. Don't think that I didn't notice that you skipped lunch today." Carlisle gave her a playful pat on her behind as they exited his study door into the main part of the house.

The most wonderful aroma assaulted Bella's senses. Even if she wasn't much of a meat eater, Rosalie's pot roast and vegetables seemed to tell her differently.

Approaching the kitchen, Rosalie was wearing an apron, carving the pot roast. Bell was humbled.

"Rosalie, you really didn't have to go to all of this trouble, but it smells absolutely delicious!" Rosalie seemed delighted at the comment.

"Well, you know. When you've got as much time on your hands as we do, we take extra classes every now and then. Even though that smell repugnant to me, I'm so happy that it smells so good to you. Bon Apatite, Bella."

"Thanks, Rose!" Bella made short work of the pot roast, mashed potatoes and roasted carrots that Rosalie had prepared for her. Carlisle hugged her from behind as she washed the dish.

"You have no idea to see how happy I am to see you well, Bella. It is a wonderful sign, that your appetite is returning." Carlisle kissed her cheek and released her. "You seemed rather hungry tonight."

"Oh, I'm sure that it's just all of the testing. It was supposed to take two days, but somehow I managed to get it all done today. Tomorrow, I'll talk with my guidance counselor on the phone and figure out where we go from here."Bella could hardly stifle a yawn. In a moment, she found herself in Carlisle's arms, being lifted bridal style and carried to the bedroom. She smiled up at him as he opened the door and carried her inside. Setting her down gently, he noticed the dark circles under her eyes. "Have your human moment, Bella, and then come and get some rest. You've had a very long day." Bella could barely stifle another yawn. Bella went to use the bathroom and brush her teeth, then came out and changed into a fleecy pair of pajamas and laid down next to Carlisle. As she snuggled into him, she felt as comfortable as a bird in a nest. The soft mattress hugged her every curve, Carlisle's arms were around her and her sheets were soft and warm. It was no time at all before she was in a sleep without dreams.

The next morning she woke up feeling refreshed and face the day. She couldn't wait to get ready to start school. She waited and waited for her councilor to call and was growing very impatient, when finally at two thirty, her cell rang.

Hello?

"Miss Swan?"

"Yes?"

"Hello, this is Samantha Taylor with Washington State Online Schools. How are you today?

"I'm great, thank you!" Bella was happy to hear from her.

"Wonderful. Well, I've got some great news for you! You have fulfilled your credit requirements by our standards and have officially graduated. Your diploma will arrive by Federal Express in two days. Congratulations, Bella!"

Bella nearly dropped the phone. "Thank you?" It came out as more of a question than a reply.

"You're so welcome. Congratulations again and good luck with your future, Miss Swan!"

"Thanks and have a great day, yourself." Bella shut off her phone, placed it on the breakfast bar and sat down hard. Carlisle was there in an instant.

"What is it, dear one? Are you alright?" His face was taught with fear.

"No, no, I'm okay, Carlisle. It's just that, well, that was my guidance councilor telling me that I have earned enough credits and that my diploma will arrive Fed Ex in two days." Bella looked like a deer in the headlights.

"Bella! That's wonderful. Aren't you happy, darling?"

"Of course I'm happy. I'm just shocked. I've got to call Charlie!" Bella grabbed her cell phone and dialed her Dad. Charlie was nearly emotional over the news. He was so proud of Bella. Bella was beginning to feel elated. "Dad, maybe this means that I can start Summer classes in Alaska now, you know, get a leg up on things." Her eyes connected with Carlisle and it were as if there was a static in the air. He didn't seem overjoyed, but he didn't seem angry, either.

"Well, Bells." Charlie said. "If that's what you want to do, than I say go for it. I'll tell you what, I'll be by later tonight with a surprise for you. I'm so proud of you, kiddo!"

"Thanks, Dad." Bella felt a lump in her throat, suddenly at the thought of leaving Charlie. Carlisle seemed to pick up on this. Walking over to her, Carlisle put his arms around her waist and drew her to him.

"You really don't have to rush into this, you know. We can wait the summer." Bella looked emotional, but he could also see the stubbornness in her eyes.

"I know, Carlisle, but I am as ready as I'll ever be. The sooner that you change me, the sooner I'll become more tolerable of being around humans and can start school for real."

Carlisle really couldn't argue with this logic. "Well, it seems that I have some phone calls to make. Kids!" He yelled, as they all came flashing into the kitchen. "Bella has just graduated. I know that you, Alice are supposed to be graduating with Bella, but we also know that you've graduated at least a dozen times. We can have J. Jenks alter your last diploma for this year if you'd like, or you can stay and finish out your Senior year at Forks High. Bella and I, however, have decided to move to our house in Northern British Columbia. Bella wishes to be changed and I feel that this is the best place to do it."

Rosalie stepped forward, a look of concern on her face. "Bella, are you absolutely sure that this is what you want? I mean, no children, no grandchildren?"

Bella leaned her head over on her big sister's shoulder. "Rose, I'm so thankful that you would take the time to ask me, but I am sure. I never did want children and I know that I want to be with Carlisle forever. I am not being thrown into this lifestyle, I am choosing it. I am choosing all of you for my family for eternity." Rosalie mulled this over and then wrapped her arms around Bella. "Then welcome to the family, little sis. I vote to go to British Columbia with you two and remain a family. Emmet?" Emmet looked at Rosalie, his resolve already set. "I go where you go, my smokin' hot wife." This caused Rosalie to giggle and give Emmet a playful slap. Alice and Jasper looked at each other for a moment. Nodding at each other, they seemed to have some sort of silent conversation. Jasper smiled. "Alice and I are in." With that, Carlisle clapped his hands together. It appeared that the whole family would be moving to right outside of the Liard River Corridor Park. This was an extremely remote location and allowed the family for much hunting. It would be the perfect place for Bella to stretch her wings as a newborn.

Charlie came by that evening with a bunch of Graduation balloons and a cupcake just for her. He did then the unthinkable. He asked Alice to dress Bella up, so that he could get a formal graduation picture of her. Alice eyes were alight with joy and Bella's with mock fear. "Come on, Bella Barbie! Time to get beautiful!" Bella was a good sport about it. Alice dressed her properly in an ankle length, slinky black dress with silver flecks in it. It had a deep drape neck and a slit going up to the knee on one side. With this, she added a pearl necklace and Euro wire, pearl earrings. Bella's hair was thrown up into an attractive chignon. Rosalie then came in and did Bella's makeup. She gave her smoky eyes, with thick black eyeliner and two coats of mascara. A bit of blush was applied, and then a classic Hollywood red lipstick. Bella couldn't believe her eyes when she saw herself in the mirrow.

"Oh, my God! I'm hot!" Bella blurted out, causing her sisters to laugh, Alice clapping her hands with joy. As she ascended the stairs in her black peep toe pumps, her red toe nails peeking out, there was a collective intake of breath from the room. Charlie looked as if he were going to burst into tears.

"Bells, you look so, so, beautiful. So grown up. I'm glad that I brought my camera, or your mom would never believe this!" Charlie began snapping pictures. He decided that it would be a good idea to get a picture of Bella and Carlisle together, so that Renee could see what Carlisle looked like. Carlisle of course, was staring straight at Bella for the picture. He couldn't pull his eyes away from her and almost couldn't keep his hands off of her. Finally there was a picture Bella and Charlie together, and then Bella and the Cullens. "Your portrait is definitely going on my desk, Bells!" Charlie's pride made her blush furiously, making her eve more beautiful. The rest of the visit went very pleasantly, a good time being had by all. Finally when Charlie was gone, Carlisle didn't waste any time undoing that chignon of Bella's and removing her dress. They made love hard and fast for the first time and Bella felt as if she had been to Oz and back. Bella lay by him, sweaty from the rigorous workout. "Wow!" Was all that she could mutter as she and Carlisle lay side by side, looking at the ceiling.

"My sentiments exactly." Spoke a half dazed Carlisle.

"Well, I need to shower and get this hairspray out of my hair." Bella arose to go toward the shower. Looking over her shoulder she asked Carlisle, "Aren't you coming?" Carlisle was there in a flash.

Bella had a thousand questions to answer from her mom's last e-mail and she set about answering them as best she could, three days before their departure to Canada. The moving company was scheduled to arrive on Wednesday. Bella spent as much time with Charlie as she could and he came over quite a bit these days, seemingly at ease with the Cullens' and even getting to like to like the idea of Bella and Carlisle together. It helped him to see how they interacted. As he watched them, they seem to almost finish each other's sentences. There was never a cross word between them, and most of all, Carlisle was true to his word. Charlie could see that he cared deeply for Bella and that she would never feel unloved, or go without whatever it was that she wanted.

Finally the day arrived as the movers showed and began packing everything up. Bella had gone to dinner with Charlie at the café for old time's sake. She would have been lying if she said that they were both completely dry eyed. In the end, Charlie hugged her and told her how proud he was of her. Bella told him that she loved him and they went their separate ways. Neither one of them were any goodbyes. As a car towing trailer showed up, the Cullen's vehicles were loaded on and limo was hired to take them to the airport. Carlisle had kept this a secret to the last. For the Cullens', there was no going through security, or checking baggage. Instead, Carlisle showed the guard at a gate a pass of some kind and the limo drove them to a hanger. In it was a private Lear Jet. Bella's mouth hung open as she climbed inside. The entire insides were done in warm, rich colors, with buttery leather upholstery on the chairs and even an L shaped sofa in front of a flat screen television. There was a bathroom, complete with shower and even a bedroom. Carlisle teased Bella about joining the mile high club until she was beet red.

The entire ride was so easy. Bella couldn't pull her eyes away from the window as the Cascades turned into desert, and then the Rocky Mountains, that turned into the Canadian Rockies. She smiled at Carlisle. "So, a private jet, huh? What would Al Gore have to say to you about that?" Carlisle chuckled at her little joke. "Al and I don't get along very well at all. I prefer Donald Trump's company far more." Bella's mouth hung open like a gaping fish for a moment, before Carlisle gently reached up and shut it with a finger. Modesty had him returning the topic to the plane.

"We find that it is much easier for the younger of us to travel, not all packed in with humans. This is actually something that was bought out of necessity. Bella could understand. Soon she would truly understand. As they began their decent into the small airport outside of the nature preserve, Bella felt that a cage with a thousand butterflies had been unleashed. They were in Canada and they were here to forever alter the course of her life. Looking at Carlisle, there was no second guessing. She just wanted to be with him always.


	11. The Beginning of a Journey

*I in no way shape or form, own these characters, or any rights to the unbelievable fortune that Stephenie Meyer is surely raking in due to the invention of these characters.

*Thanks to all of the very kind reviews and critical, that I have received. I love them all, for the encouragement, as well as the teaching. I love you all!

**Chapter 10**

**The Beginning of A Journey**

In a humid rainforest, somewhere near the borders of Brazil and Venezuela, a brunette and a redhead sat near the top of a rock outcropping of a huge waterfall. Esme handed a piece of paper over to Victoria.

Victoria knew that she had the upper hand here. "You've made the right decision, Esme. That little whore is responsible for the death of my mate and has stolen your husband right out from under you."

Esme felt a touch of guilt. "Well, it's not like I didn't have my fare share in the matter. Our divorce was final almost the same day that Edward and I . . ."

Victoria sneered. "Yes, we will deal with him later. He has wronged the both of us as well and he will pay for his sins." Victoria's eyes grew distant as a sneer wrapped itself around her teeth. "First we'll tear that Denali bitch apart limb from limb and force Edward to watch, then we'll end Edward, but first thing's first. Bella Swan must die. You're certain that every one of the homes that you owned with Carlisle are listed here?"

Esme was nervous, but she had been scorned on both fronts and a fury had been ignited inside of her normally placid heart. She had never asked Carlisle to change her. He had saved her from her own attempted suicide. Now she was damned and separated from the child that she lost. For a while, it was enough just to have Carlisle and the rest of the family that she used to share, but one momentary slip had cost her all of that. Now she roamed the planet, a nomad. The Denali clan had turned her out after realizing what she had attacked Tanya over Edward, but allowed Edward to stay, not wanting to separate the newly mated couple.

It was just Emse's luck that the very place that she would seek sanctuary with her lover, would be the place that he would find his mate for life. It was more than she could bare and Esme was slowly going mad. Once more nodding her head at Victoria, she reiterated. "Yes, you will surely find them at one of these addresses. Godspeed." With that, Esme was off to hunt, her now crimson eyes focused ahead as she ran at top speed through the rain forest. It wasn't long until she heard the collective sounds of many heartbeats. Human heartbeats. A village was nearby. Feeling the venom rise within her throat, she stalked the small village of primitive mountain people of the South American Rain Forest.

Bella bounced down the longest driveway that she had ever seen in Carlisle's new Chevy Silverado. The drive from the airport, was a spectacular journey through incredibly tall pines, green and fragrant. They surrounded the fifteen mile, gravel driveway that led to the Cullen's remote British Columbian retreat. About a half of a mile down the road, Bella began to see a break in the trees.

"I can't wait for you to see this, my love!" Carlisle had a broad smile on his face as they readied to clear the trees. He held Bella's hand on his lap as she sat in the middle seat next to him. Rosalie and Emmet followed behind in Emmet's jeep and Jasper and Alice behind them in their Cadillac SUV. Bella could see why all of these four wheel drive vehicles would be necessary once winter set in. It was tough getting in to the property in fine weather, but with snow and ice, it would certainly pose a challenge.

Just as they broke the forest line, Bella felt her breath catch in her throat. They were completely surrounded by the Canadian Rockies in all of their cathedral like Glory. Rocky peaks reached in sheered spires into the heavens in each direction, as far as the eye could see.

Carlisle stopped the truck for a moment for Bella to take it in.

"Carlisle, it's breathtaking!" Bella couldn't quite keep her mouth closed for the overwhelming awe of what surrounded her.

"Wait until you see the house site, itself. It's an Arts and Crafts style mansion that I had commissioned by an architect named Charles Voysey in 1902. To be honest, it's one of my favorite houses that we own." Bella could only listen with an earnest to soak up all that she could as Carlisle told her about choosing the location and the construction during a different age.

The road meandered over the top of a very large foothill and as they descended the other side, Bella could only mutter, "Dear God." The house sat off in the distant, nestled at the base one of the rocky hills that was the beginnings of a mountain. Stained glass abounded in the clean, symmetrical lines of the enormous house. From her point of view, it appeared to be three stories and every upper room had a deck. Beside the house, a very large cascade poured into a creek that rolled away from the house, over water smoothed boulders.

"I've never witnessed any place so beautiful in my life." Bella laid her head on Carlisle's shoulder.

Kissing the top of her head, he smiled to himself. "It does have a way of getting under your skin. I'm so glad that you like it, my Bella." They came closer to the house and the enormity of it had Bella's jaw dropping once again.

"You see that balcony on the third floor of the house, nearest the falls?" Carlisle asked.

"The one with the stained glass French doors?" Bella asked.

"That's the one."

"Yes, I see it." Truly this room had the best view of the tumbling cascades.

"That is our room, sweetheart." Carlisle smiled at the sight of Bella in such a blissful state at the home that was so close to his heart. "As soon as we arrive, you have the task of getting on the computer and ordering new furniture for it, as well as wallpaper or paint, it is up to you. It is yours to design. It's a clean slate for you. I ordered some temporary furniture for us, until you make your choices, but I want it to be our room, so I place this task in your worthy hands.

Bella was thoughtful for a while. She had never decorated before, but she was sure that she would have fun, once she saw the inside of the house.

Finally they reached the circular gravel drive in front of the house and it seemed even more large than Bella had first imagined. The roar of the falls next to the house and the smell of ozone and clean pine filled the air.

"Truly, Carlisle. This is the most spectacular home that I have ever seen in the most beautiful location." Bella felt suddenly out of her league here, but soon Emmet was bouncing up the stairs with several boxes.

"Come on, baby sister. Check out the inside. It's the shit!"

"Emmet, language. Please?" Carlisle had to fight back a smile as he opened the door for Bella and helped her out of the pickup truck. Leading her up the grand granite stairway to the front door, Bella was speechless. The front door was all cut stained glass, the frame the same naturally stained wood that the entire exterior of the house was made of, blending perfectly with its indigenous location. Opening the door, Carlisle held his hand out for Bella. Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw as she entered. A wide open space made up the first two floors, with carved rafters in the ceiling and plastered walls. On one side of the room sat an enormous fireplace who's mantle was carved out of marble in three dimensional pine trees making a forest scene. Two sweeping staircases led to the third floor, where Bella assumed was the bedrooms. The floors were hardwood knotted pine, stained a light cheerful, natural color.

Carlisle was silent as Bella took all of this in, for a while. Finally he spoke up. "So, what do you think?"

Bella looked at him with misty eyes. "Truly, Carlisle. It is the most magnificent building that I have ever seen." Carlisle was truly pleased, as he had worked with the architect, quite closely.

"Well, I've had the kitchen well stocked for you, as you remain a human. Now, my dearest love, let me show you our bedroom." Bella smiled and nodded. Leading Bella up one of the staircases, she soon saw that the third floor hallway, was nearly entirely glass, so that one could look out on the rising mountain and the waterfall. Turning right at the top of the stairs, Carlisle led Bella to the last room on the left. He stopped just in front of large double doors. "Right across the hallway from our bedroom is my study, which I will show you later. There are plenty of books to fill your time, but you will see that I have seen to your entertainment in our bedroom as well. I hope that you like it."

Carlisle opened the double doors and Bella nearly fell over. The room was enormous with high vaulted ceilings, with carved buttresses. To Bella's right, large glass and stained glass French doors opened onto a veranda with ornate wrought iron, that overlooked the waterfall. She walked straight toward the doors and opened them. She smiled as the wind changed and the mist of the waterfall gently caressed her face. Suddenly she felt Carlisle's arms around her as he placed a kiss on her neck.

"I hope that you like the room, Bella. I did the best that I could with the décor, but you may change it as you like." It was then that Bella realized that she hadn't paid attention to the décor. Smiling over her shoulder at Carlisle, she turned her head to kiss him. Stepping back into the bedroom, she immediately knew that she wouldn't change a thing. The bedroom was done in a cozy French country style. Wallpaper and fabrics were in various shades of toile depicting quaint country scenes. Two overstuffed chairs sat in front of their very own wood burning fireplace. The bed was a king sized, high, four poster with sheaves of wheat carved into the posts. No doubt a pricey antique.

"Carlisle, I wouldn't change a thing. It's perfect." Carlisle seemed to let out an unneeded breath.

"I am so glad that you like it, Bella. I love you so much and want this to become home to you quickly as I look forward to many happy years with you, here." Bella smiled and colored a bit at his warmth.

Bella stared at the bed. "Is this where the, uh, change will happen?" Bella was suddenly a bit nervous.

"No, my darling. We will do that in my study. Just as in the house in Forks, I keep all of my medical equipment there. I am working on a plan to save you as much pain as possible." Carlisle was lost in his thoughts for a moment. "I don't know if it would work, but I am hoping that I can put you under global anesthesia. It has never been tried before and three days is a long time to be under, but I hope that I can find a way to make it work for you."

Bella stepped up to him and wrapped her arms around him, looking into his eyes. "You are too good to me." She smiled at him. "I am not afraid, Carlisle, I just want to be with you. I want to be able to be with you, in all the capacities that I can be."

"What do you mean, dearest?"

"I want you to be able to make love to me without holding back. I want to be able to share the full storm of your passion, without you fearing that you would break every bone in my body."

Carlisle automatically hardened at the thought. He held Bella close. "Oh, my Bella. That will indeed be a lovely day, but for now," he traced kisses down her neck, "I would love the privilege of making love to you, just as you are." Bella smiled shyly up at him.

"I would like that, too, but allow me a few human moments?"

Carlisle laughed. "Of course. The bathroom is this way." He led her to the left side of the room, where more naturally stained double doors adorned the wall. "Take your time, darling." Carlisle kissed her one last time and then kicked off his shoes and settled on the giant bed, flipping on what at first appeared to be a beautiful floral painting, but was automatically transformed into a flat screen T.V. Bella gave him one last smile and then entered the bathroom and gasped. The entire bathroom was done in green Connemara Marble, from Ireland. It was beautiful, the moss, forever encased in the stone. There was a huge sunken Jacuzzi tub, nearly big enough to swim in, with drapes that hunt on every corner and a walk in shower with two heads. Bella smiled to herself as she thought about showering with Carlisle. The thought immediately had her stripping off her clothes and opening her travel bag, removing her soap, shampoo, conditioner, and razor.

Bella opted for a shower, turning on the head and adjusting the temperature. Stepping into the hot, steaming stream, she felt the weariness and staleness of plane travel and fifteen miles on dusty gravel, wash away. Thoughts of Carlisle passed through her mind as her hand brushed her stomach, soaped her breasts and her most personal parts. Suddenly, two arms were around her soaped up body and took the bar of soap away from her.

"I couldn't resist." Carlisle said hoarsely from behind her. "Please, allow me. Slowly and sensually, he bathed her, teased her. Taking his time, rinsing her body, his hands roamed everywhere, seeming to cause every nerve in her body to become acutely, almost painfully aware of his touch. He filled his hand with strawberry shampoo and massaged it into her hair, his fingers grazing her scalp as he worked the shampoo into a lather. By the time he was finished conditioning her hair, Bella was on fire. She could feel his hardness pressing into her back as his hands now roamed free over her slippery, wet flesh. He cupped her breasts, from behind, just as a low growl, rumbled from his chest. Before Bella knew what was happening, she found herself pinned against the marble of the shower stall as she groaned as she wrapped her legs around Carlisle's waist. With one thrust, he sheathed himself completely inside of Bella, reaching and stretching her core. Instantly her inner walls quivered around him, an orgasm that had her crying out, her voice echoing off of the marble. He held himself inside of her as she finished, before he began a slow steady rhythm. She let her head fall back against the marble as she squirmed in his steadily strong grasp around her waist.

Over and over again, his cock bumped against that point inside of her that she had felt once before when they made love. It was not the usual cluster of nerves near her entrance but a place deep inside of her that began to ache with the need of release. "Carlisle!" She moaned as the sensation built. He pumped even harder into her until suddenly, she let out a scream as her aching nerves found an incredible release. Crying out her name, Carlisle hurdled over the edge with her and as he slowed his rhythm, he rested his forehead against hers.

"My Bella. Do you know how beautiful you are when you come apart in my arms?" Bella was still regaining her balance and catching her breath as he allowed her to slip down his body and find her footing on the marble floor of the shower. Finally, she smiled up at him a deliciously devilish smile.

"I don't know what you just did to me, but it was unbelievable." Bella was still breathless, her world tilting on its axis.

Handing her a towel, Carlisle had a sheepish grin on her face. "The slang term for it is known as hitting your G Spot."

"I didn't even know that I had one."

"Oh, Bella, if you only knew what you did to me. I have never known such pleasure as I find in your innocent arms." Seeing that Bella was well dried, Carlisle dried himself off and tossed their towels into the hamper.

Walking into the opulent bedroom, Bella opened one of her suitcases and found a pair of what had become her favorite pajamas. Her satin boxers with the matching satin top. Slipping on a pair of eyelet lace cotton panties, she began to feel the toll of the trip on her body.

Carlisle at once noticed her fatigue as he slid on a pair of boxer briefs. He gracefully climbed into the bed and patted the other side, opening his arms to her. Bella stifled a yawn and climbed into the monstrous, beautiful bed. "Mmm, the same mattress that Alice found for me in Forks."

"I saw that you enjoyed it and had one delivered here."

"You are so thoughtful, Carlisle." Bella felt her eyes getting heavy under the heavy, fluffy green toile duvet and thick flannel sheets. "Love you so . . ." Bella fell asleep before she could finish her sentence.

Smiling to himself, Carlisle held her to him and listened to CNN as he felt the rise and fall of his love's chest as she slept cuddled into his side. His mind turned to her changing. He worried so, about the pain that she would go through. Just then his cell phone rang. He looked at the screen and saw that it was Eleazar.

"Hello old friend."

"Carlisle. I am sorry for what has come to pass, recently, but I hope that you are well."

"Thank you, Eleazar, but I am quite well. I have found my mate in Bella Swan."

"Bella Swan?" Eleazar was shocked. "So it has all worked out for the best, then. I can't tell you how that puts my mind at ease, brother."

"Do not worry, brother. I am more blissfully happy than I have ever dreamed." Carlisle gazed down at the sleeping form of Bella.

"It does my heart good to know that you have found such happiness, Carlisle, but I'm afraid that I have some news that is rather of a grave nature." Eleazar truly hated to ruin the perfection of Carlisle's happiness.

"What has happened, Eleazar?"

"It's Esme. I have had some reports that she has been keeping company with a nomad. One that I believe that you have come across in the past. A redhead named Victoria."

Carlisle suddenly froze. "Why, yes. We were forced to kill her mate a year ago. His name was James and he was an exceptional tracker that latched on to Bella's scent. He nearly killed her, but we were able to arrive in time and destroy him."

"Ah, I see. That would make sense then. I must warn you that this Victoria is bent on revenge. I'm sure that you know Laurent, as he had kept company with the two nomads?"

Carlisle remembered the well built vampire that seemed friendly enough. "Yes, I remember him well."

"Good, good. Laurent has joined our coven and is adapting himself to our lifestyle of drinking from animals. When he was out hunting not long ago, Victoria found him and gloated to him that Esme had played right into her hands. I believe that she is using Esme as a pawn. I'm afraid that we had to turn Esme out as things became very tense when Edward and Tanya realized a mate in one another. Esme became enraged and attacked Tanya and we had to ask her to leave. She didn't leave in what I would consider a stable state of mind, brother. You must be vigilant." These words hit Carlisle like a freight train. He looked down at a very human and fragile Bella. He couldn't live without her and knew what must be done sooner rather than later.

"Thank you, Eleazar. I owe you a debt of gratitude for warning us. We will be on the lookout and prepared for when she does arrive. When she does, I suspect that she will be surprised at what she finds." With that, Carlisle bid Eleazar a good day and hung up his phone. Looking down at Bella, his chest felt heavy. The plans to change her would have to be put into motion soon. He couldn't have her so fragile and nothing was a more formidable foe against a woman scorned, than a newborn vampire. Gathering Bella close to him and breathing in the scent of her hair, venomous tears pooled in his eyes.


	12. The Inevitable

*I in no way shape or form, own these characters, or any rights to the unbelievable fortune that Stephenie Meyer is surely raking in due to the invention of these characters.

*Thanks to all of the very kind reviews and critical, that I have received. I love them all, for the encouragement, as well as the teaching. I love you all!

**Chapter 11**

**The Inevitable **

Esme sat in the sand on Isle Esme with a heavy heart. For three days she had sat and thought about the events that had played out in her life, changing it gradually, yet permanently. She counted off the ways that she could have changed the outcome. She could have been open with Carlisle about her attraction to Edward, after all, she had been fairly sure for some time that she was never Carlisle's mate to begin with, nor he hers. Now the events had started as a storm and ended up a hurricane. She wept with shame that she had given away information to Victoria that would eventually lead to Bella's death.

Esme couldn't imagine what she had been thinking at the time, but she was sure that it was simply a blind, selfish rage that drove her. At one time, Bella had called her Mom. Esme put her head in her hands. How could she have done this? She knew at once that there was only one thing to do. There would be no undoing what damage that she had already caused, but she owed a life debt to Bella. Esme stood and walked into the water. Swimming for the mainland, it was no time at all that she was in the Brazillian rainforest. Moving as fast as her strength would allow her, she began heading north. God help her, she would not allow Victoria to follow through with her ghastly plan, come hell or high water. Esme would stand between Bella and death itself.

Carlisle had sat all night watching Bella sleep. As the sun came peeking over the horizon, he began feeling a sense of anxiety. Just then, he heard a change in Bella's breathing and knew that she would awaken soon. Pulling her in close to him, she mumbled a bit, clutched his shirt and relaxed once more. She stayed that way for another half of an hour before her eyes opened, full of sleep, but with a blissful smile at the sight of her mate. "Good morning." Bella greeted him. Carlisle smiled down at her, picked her up and hugged her to him. How could he explain to her what must be done. "Carlisle? Is everything okay?" Bella sat up suddenly, sensing that something wasn't quite right.

"Everything is okay, my love. However, I need for you to take your human moments and meet me downstairs. There is a matter that the family must discuss and I'm afraid that it does concern you." Bella's forehead wrinkled a bit, but decided not to push it any further for the moment. Seeing the inner turmoil that Carlisle seemed to be in, she hurried to see to her morning ablutions.

As Bella disappeared into the bathroom Carlisle rose and headed downstairs. He stood in the dining room, near the Mission style dining room table. "Kids, we need to talk." He need not yell, but only talk at a normal level. They could hear him just fine from wherever he was in the house. Gradually, Rosalie and Emmet came in from the garage, both in jumpsuits and covered in grease, just as Alice and Jasper were walking hand in hand down the stairs. Seeing the look on Carlisle's face, they knew that it was about to be time for a family meeting.

Carlisle smiled his most reassuring smile at the concerned faces of his children. "As I'm sure that you're aware, we need to have a meeting, but Rose and Emmet, why don't you go and change. This concerns Bella and she will be down shortly. Alice sat down hard as she went into a trance like state. Her eyes darted quickly from right to left as if she were reading at high speed.

"Oh, dear. Okay." Was all that she had to say at the moment as she took her place at the table. Jasper felt a wave of anxiety rush off of her and sat down next to Alice, placing his arm, reassuringly around her shoulders. She snuggled into him.

Carlisle took his place at the head of the table and patted Alice's hand. "You did well, Alice, in advising me to bring the medications that you suggested. I must admit, that I had no idea why I would be brining such medications when we were leaving to come here. I feared that Bella would be badly injured, and that I had them to do a major surgery on her, but I am as thankful as ever for your foresight." Alice smiled back at Carlisle, although her eyes held the same worry that seemed to cause her smile to not quite reach her eyes.

Emmet and Rosalie came down the stairs, clean and in a fresh pair of clothes and joined the family at the table. Rosalie was concerned about such an impromptu family meeting. "Okay, Dad. We're all here. What's going on?"

"Ah, but Rosalie, we are not all here. Bella will be down in a moment and this concerns her more than it does any of us. Patience, Rose." Carlisle's tone was gentle as usual, but touched with worry. Just then he smelled the lovely smell of strawberries as Bella exited their bedroom door and made her way to the stairs. She hadn't bothered to dry her hair and Carlisle couldn't help but think of how lovely she looked with her smooth, long hair, wet and swinging behind her. She smiled at the family and walked toward the chair next to Carlisle.

"Let's begin, then." Carlisle stood and pulled Bella's chair out for her. As soon as she was seated, he began to address the family. "I will not mince words here, as I'm afraid that time is of the essence. I spoke to Eleazar last night and it seems that Esme has gone somewhat mad. She was asked to leave the Denali clan due to an attack on Tanya at discovering that Edward and Tanya have discovered mates in one another." There was a collective gasp around the table. Bella had to admit that she felt a touch of sadness for Esme, who even due to her own actions, had lost so much. Carlisle continued. "I'm sure that you all remember Laurent, from that fateful day at the baseball field?" With a nod from everyone around the table and a slight cringe from Bella, he continued. "Well it seems that Laurent has chosen to become a part of the Denali clan and to discipline himself to our way of life."

"That's wonderful!" Rosalie seemed happy that Laurent had quit hanging around with the likes of James and Victoria and settled on a more peaceful lifestyle.

"Well, yes it is wonderful, Rose, but it was only a few days ago that Laurent was sought out by none other than Victoria." Bella froze in her seat.

"What does she want?" Bella felt a tingle down her spine. Carlisle withheld nothing.

"She wants you, Bella. She wants revenge for James' death and seems to blame you for that. Apparently she wants revenge on Edward as well, but he is currently surrounded by the Denali's." Suddenly Bella's breath quickened as did her heart. This did not go unnoticed by Carlisle. "Rest easy now, dear heart. I have a plan."

Suddenly Bella stood up from her chair and laid her hands on the table. "Change me." The entire table was silent. Carlisle suddenly felt a sense of pride in his mate.

"That is exactly what I was going to suggest, my courageous one. However, I believe that I have contrived a plan that will make it less painful or not even painful at all. You see, Alice had seen that I would need a certain drug here. I didn't understand it at the time, but she implored me to bring a drug called Propofal, here with us." Carlisle looked around the table to make sure that everyone was with him. Seeing that they were hanging on to every word, Bella remained standing, her eyes trusting him. How he loved her. "Propofal is used to in medically induced comas. I have had some experience with this drug in the case of life threatening injuries, requiring surgeries that had to be done in stages. When the patient must absolutely not move, due to the fact that their bodies remain open between surgeries, it is used to sedate them, like a constant global anesthesia. Bella I would like to try this on you. Bella dear," Carlisle took her hands in his, emotion written all over his face, "I see no other way to keep you safe, but to change you. If Victoria finds us here, I fear for your life." Bella nodded and sat down at the table.

"Then let's do it. I'm not afraid, Carlisle. I came up here with you for this very reason. Now, I won't pretend that I expected it to happen on my second day here, but, well, today is a good day to die." Bella had a serene smile on her face. "I trust you implicitly, Carlisle and I am ready." Carlisle gathered her into his arms and kissed her soundly, blinking around venomous tears.

"Very well, my love. I will begin making the preparations." Carlisle kissed her once more and headed up to his study. Bella suddenly let out a deep breath and looked around the table, uncertainly. Immediately, Alice and Rosalie held her hands, reassuringly.

"I've already seen it, Bella. You are beautiful!" Alice gushed. "I will dress you while you are going through the change and see to it that when you wake up, that you'll be able to make the most of that rockin' body that you'll be sporting."

Bella's rockin' body was the last thing on her mind right now. She was peaceful on the outside but nervous and a bit fearful on the inside. Finally, with a smile at each of her adoptive siblings, she climbed the stairs to Carlisle's study. Knocking on the partially open door, she let herself in and gasped. It was a beautiful room. The walls were floor to ceiling mahogany bookshelves, loaded with leather bound tomes. Bella could imagine herself spending many hours in this peaceful room with the corner fireplace crackling merrily. Carlisle stood silently near his exam table, preparing an I.V. Even he couldn't bring himself to smile at this moment. Bella approached him and laid a hand on his arm. Meeting his gaze, she smiled brightly. "Today, I began my journey of forever with you, Carlisle. Don't be afraid. I love you." Carlisle paused and then suddenly grabbed Bella to him, sobbing into her shoulder.

"My dearest, dearest, love. I don't want you to feel the pain. I wish there was another way. I pray that this works." He held her tightly against him. She rubbed her hands up and down his back in comfort.

"I'm ready, Carlisle." Her gaze was even and unflinching. Nodding his head, he finished hooking up the I.V.

"Very well, Bella. You must take off your clothes so that I may clean the blood off of you where I have to bite. I will then cover you with a sheet and if all goes well, you will sleep through the pain. I will never leave your side, Bella. I promise you that." Bella nodded her understanding as Carlisle closed his study door as Bella began to disrobe. Shaking slightly, with a rush of adrenaline, she laid back on his exam table and shut her eyes as he placed the central line into her hand. He covered her with a sheet and hooked fluids into the central line. "This will help the medication to regulate itself, so long as you have a blood stream." Bella nodded, nervously. "Soon, my love, I will inject the sedative into the I.V. and all that you have to do is close your eyes. The rest will take care of itself." Bella nodded her understanding, a quick tear rolling down the side of her face, betraying her façade of confidence. Carlisle wiped the tear away and brushed the hair from her face, kissing her tenderly. "Hang on to these memories, my love. It may take you a while after the change to remember certain things, but please, watch my face as you go under, for I want it to be the first thing that you remember when you awaken." Bella reached out a hand and caressed his face.

"Okay. I'm ready, Carlisle." Carlisle measured carefully the medication into a syringe and connected it to her central line. With one last kiss, he stood over Bella and began to slowly inject it into her system. Bella stared at his face all the while as he saw her fade, quickly into unconsciousness. As soon as he knew that her heartbeat was regulated and doing well under the anesthesia, he spoke aloud. "Hunt, children. I am going to begin the change and I would prefer to be alone." He heard the back door open and close and knew that the others had respected his wishes. Walking over to Bella, once more, he kissed her slack lips and then, with a deep breath, he kissed his way down her arm, then sank his teeth into her right wrist, pushing as much venom as he could into the wound. With tears in his eyes, he bit the back of her knees, ankles and the other wrist and sat back, his hand over his mouth, breathing heavily through his mouth. In all of his existence, there had never been such a tempting creature as the woman that lay on the table before him. As he regained control of himself. He pulled up a chair and sat down near her head. Taking her hand in his, he began to speak to her, though she couldn't hear him, he began at the beginning of his changing and told her everything that he could possibly remember.

Filling a basin with warm water from the bathroom, he took a rag and began bathing the extra blood from her body, caused by the bite wounds. Being able to do nothing more, he laid her hands by her side. Several hours later, Alice knocked on his study door and entered, carrying fresh clothes for Bella. With a solemn questioning look at an agonizing Carlisle, she began to dress Bella, just as Bella would have wanted. She chose a pair of designer jeans and a deep emerald green wide turtle neck sweater that hugged Bella's figure. As an act of love, she placed socks on Bella's feet and slipped on her turquoise Converse, then sat with Carlisle for a while, listening to the still steady rhythm of Bella's heartbeat.

Carlisle sat for three days by her side. The final day was agonizing as her heartbeat began to slow significantly. Suddenly, it ceased altogether and everyone in the house, rushed to Carlisle's study to see the new Bella.

Bella closed her eyes, focusing on the face of her beloved Carlisle. It seemed as she awoke moments later with a slight burning sensation. A sense of panic overwhelmed her as she realized that the rhythm of her heart was unbearably slow. She knew that she was dying, but she couldn't seem to open her eyes. She wanted to scream, to call out for help, but as she tried to, the pain increased and her heart rhythm decreased and then in a second, her heart stopped beating altogether, just as the burning sensation died down. It felt as if it took all of her strength for a moment, but just as fast, she opened her eyes and was startled by the light. Everything looked slightly skewed. If she stared hard enough, she could see the different spectrums of color in the light that poured in through the window. Suddenly, she realized that the window looked familiar. A million thoughts were swimming in her head, just as she sat up, suddenly. It took no effort, whatsoever and what stared back at her caught her off guard. There were five people in the room with her that seemed remotely familiar.

Her mind was reeling with the barrage of senses that seemed so new to her and she crouched low, protectively as she tried to make sense of it all, until she noticed one face that brought pleasant feelings to her mind and body. The face spoke to her.

"Bella? Dear heart? It's Carlisle. We are not going to hurt you. I know that you are very confused right now, but everything is going to be okay." The voice soothed her as memories came flooding back. Laying in his arms, feeling safe. Touching him, feeling him. Pleasure at his touch and then it all came rushing back to her in a flood of incredibly clear memories.

"Carlisle?" Her voice sounded slightly foreign to her ears. It seemed to ring with a pleasant sound.

"Yes, Bella. It's me." He opened his arms to her and she bolted forward and was in his arms, faster than she had ever dreamed that she could move. Sighing, she melted into Carlisle's arms and peered cautiously at the other four standing in the room with her. They all stood back, giving her space. Suddenly, memories of them began to flood back as well. In that strange, new, beautiful voice, she named them each by name.

"Emmet, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice. You're my family." Bella felt herself smile. She felt no more fear of them as they all gathered around her hugging her. Alice chatted very quickly, but Bella hung on to every word. Carlisle intervened at this moment.

"Okay, let's give her some space. Bella, darling, you are so very beautiful. Do you want to see yourself?" Bella nodded up at him, remembering that her body might alter slightly after what she had just been through. Carlisle cradled her protectively in his arms as he eased her from the room and into the sanctuary of their own. "Now remember that your eye color is going to be startling." Carlisle was taking his time with Bella, but was caught completely off guard by how in control that she was so soon after just waking. He chose to follow her lead and choose her own comfort level.

"Okay, I think that I'm ready." Bella walked hand in hand with Carlisle into the bathroom. She had never felt so alert, so aware of every detail of her surroundings. It was almost as if she could now sense what was around her without seeing it. Suddenly, standing in the bathroom in front of the mirror, she saw for the first time, the new Bella. The Bella who's heart no longer beat. She stared at her reflection. For a moment she was startled by the eyes that stared back at her. They were as red as blood. "Blood," thought Bella to herself and was keenly aware of the first time that her throat burned with a thirst. Running her hands over her body she was very aware of her fuller breasts, her tiny toned waist and the muscular, yet graceful swell of hips that ended in long, sinuous legs." Carlisle stood back, his hand over his mouth, watching her with a gleam in his eye.

"Do you like what you see?" She asked him.

"Bella, you were always more beautiful than any other to me, but now, you will have the Denali sisters green with envy. But I do not stare with amazement at your outer beauty. It is with awe at the state that you woke up in." Bella looked confused.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that you are in complete control of your faculties. You remembered almost immediately each member of your family. You remembered me." With this statement, Carlisle's voice cracked with emotion. "I have never seen anything like it. You are remarkable, dear one. Here I am going on about how amazing your control is and you must be parched. Do you feel a thirst, Bella?"

Bella shyly nodded her head.

"Come, my love and hunt with me." Carlisle held out his hand to her.

"But I don't know how to." Bella eyes were wide.

"You will know what to do when the time comes. Just listen to your instincts." Bella nodded and followed Carlisle down the stairs at an amazing speed, realizing that she didn't trip, or even feel unsteady. Together they headed out the door into the mountain wilderness.


End file.
